It's time I rebooted my system starting afresh, http://lastly-dispirited.blogspot.com
Profile daniel ng, 14.10.94 http://www.facebook.com/ngyjd.3 http://baby-drummer23.deviantart.com drums; photography; design; pool; gym. victorian slave; 4C. Band Geek no more. 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Thursday, May 29, 2008 audacity Picture post here we go. -daniel. Not much to say for today as well. Not much going on these few days in my life. For this week my schedule is as follows. Monday - Band Practice(8am-4pm) Tuesday - Band Practice(8am-4pm) Wednesday - Band Practice(8am-6pm) Thursday - Band Practice(8am-6pm) Friday - Band Practice (8am-6pm) Saturday - No not band practice, concert and band practice. That's pretty much what i've been up to. Anyhows, some people say first impressions of a person are of utmost importance. I beg to differ. I believe the impressions you get way after you first meet somebody is the most crucial part of any friendship. Who knows whatever people may be hiding from others around them. Life's an irony. Well final band practice tomorrow. Wish me luck, and I can't wait for new instruments. Tuesday, May 27, 2008 Throe My bandaging skills rock(: Yep, I somehow managed to sprain my pinky finger. Without the proper "function" of it, I now know realise it's crucial significance in carrying out daily activities like drumming, eating, hi-fiving?!?, and even typing. So excuse me if you find many typo's in this post. I'm having trouble with coping with the pace of how fast life is passing by nowadays. Band practice is reaching an all-time-high intensity right now. It's becoming an extremely challenging task to be able to stand throughout practices and at the same time, keep focused. I need a little breathing space to last me till this Saturday. I can make it! From 8a.m - 5p.m is just a little bit off my limit. Anyway I have drum lessons at 4p.m so I guess I have an excuse to leave a tad bit earlier. But then again, how the hell am I going to drum with my finger in this state, argh. I'm confounded by many people's actions. But today has let me open my eyes to even more "confounding" acts. Really, it's just too much. You think your better, go ahead and prove it. Don't give me all this empty talk, just mind your own business. Argh, my finger is really starting to hurt now, guess i'll stop typing for now. Monday, May 26, 2008 limit The expense that I go through just for the sake of good quality music some times amuses me. LapMate headphones for $49.90, the sound quality is just too good. Not to mention its wireless features(: Also real happy with my new DW Remo Weatherking snare skin, it produces the perfect pitch with each stroke. Wow, tiring day today. Really all you have to know is the heat in the kitchen is starting to get overwhelming. Or, band practices are getting too intensive and hard to handle. I shall TRY to survive the velocity. Thank God that i'm home. My legs have never ached so much before and having that terrible backache doesn't help much either. Well i'll just have to live through it, that's how life is. Sunday, May 25, 2008 resolutions Hello new cymbals. Thanks to Gabriel so much for his kindness from one drummer to another. I'm not very fond of the 16" crash but the sound of the 10" Dark Custom Zildjian K Splash is just too beautiful. I'm probably going to buy it from him for about 90 bucks or so, we'll see how it works out. Customized. My schedule is already somewhat planned out for this holiday, and i'm pretty determined to do well. I've never bothered to study for any exam. Perhaps this is just a wake up call. I shall leave no room for my mother to be indignant at anything i've done. I shall prove I can be wise. Bring it on holidays. Due to the upcoming concert this Saturday at the Singapore Conference Hall, band practices have come to a desperate measure of being held every single day for this week. I really got to brace myself for a fatiguing week of practice. So let's review my priorities for this June holidays that MUST be achieved: 1) Get studies back on track. 2) Rub it in my mum's face. 3) Get some "inspiring" pictures. 4) Jamming sessions. Anyway haven't done some brush art in quite awhile so here's some crap. Want tickets? Message me. Saturday, May 24, 2008 Blank The result of endless jamming sessions everyday. I'll just have to buy a new one I guess. hopefully by tomorrow I can get one and tomorrow i'm also getting 3 Zildjian K Series cymbals from Gabriel. Yay, oh joy. Will probably make my way to Peninsula Plaza to get a decent remo skin or something like that. Anybody got any idea on good quality skins? Not much to say about today, tiring band practice. Phew. Friday, May 23, 2008 Harvest I am too good. At photoshop. Check out my conduct at my percentage. Wednesday, May 21, 2008 Hiatus Well, this is has been a heck of a journey. This so called "joy ride" is coming to a temporary pause. And the school holidays will bring on a new era for me. Goodbye old habits in come the new, i'm determined I can change. Though I know it's not going to be easy, this blog helps me relieve stress in some undescribable manner. Seeing the hit counter almost reaching 15,000 kinda' gives me a sort of "pleasure" if you may. I'm sorry but I don't have time for you any more. I'm giving you up. I know it's a big sacrifice, but it's got to be done sooner or later. I really don't need this now. Distractions are of utmost importance for the reason that i've been doing so badly. So I declare it's over. No more shall I be that slacker than never keeps awake during class. No more shall I be the lowest scorer compared to my peers any more. No more shall I be that dumb guy that doesn't know shit about work. I shall strive, I shall work, I shall perserveare. The top three things that were on my "Top 3 hated things" list is now on my "Top 3 priorities" list. Though band is going to take up almost all of my time for this week till next saturday; the concert. I shall start on my planning schedule for this June holidays. As these tensions rise up, the competition of results gets tougher and tougher. Despite my recent struggles, I shall shake it off. No more deterrants, just concentration. You are my main hope. Tuesday, May 20, 2008 Reflections I don't treat the people that I neglect with the due respect. I ought to pay those people my deepest apologies. I really thank you for the care and concern. Just want to thank you for the encouragement and also you my close friend. You are like an older brother to me, putting up with my puerile acts. I was never really that maturely close with my real brother, you just deserve better. Sharing your life's experiences with me, enriching the fortune that I possess but just don't realise that it's there. I make less sense than I think I do. Inspiration If life were a seed, it'd die if it didn't have the proper growing conditions. But if did, we would awe at its amazing harvest. Reaping what you sow doesn't seem as easy at this point of time. My "sowing skills" hasn't been the best of late if you know what I mean. I've got to keep my focus for this one-month holiday and just set my priorities straight. I know what I have to do, and i'm going to do it no matter what. Fulfilling this promise shall be my goal. No more empty promises, no more lies; inveracity shall be a thing of the past. The old flower has withered away, and a new one has been nurtured. I shall monitor the progress of its growth. The new era is coming in, the old shall fade to dust. Thank you Gabriel for your major help. He's going to lend me his Zildjian K Splash, crash and ride. I'm totally grateful to him, look out Carlos, your going to be in for a heck of a jamming session this soming Sunday. Monday, May 19, 2008 Pressure Is my imagination running away Or is all this really happening to me Am I a prince in a far away land filled with fantasy Where is reality and what are the actions that will define who I am? I am holding onto the visions I've seen of what I could be It's what I should be Chorus More than it seems these dreams inside (show me the way to these dreams) Blur reality's line ('til there's nothing that's left of me) If I could believe the dreams aside (show me the way to these dreams) I am capable more than it seems Passing through darkness into my own world Will I be more than when I left (than when I left) Never letting go of the lessens I learned This will make a change A change within me Chorus More than it seems these dreams inside (show me the way to these dreams) Blur reality's line ('til there's nothing that's left of me) If I could believe the dreams aside (show me the way to these dreams) I am capable more than it seems This time I won't run away I found the strength to face life's long days This time I won't run away Chorus More than it seems these dreams inside (show me the way to these dreams) Blur reality's line ('til there's nothing that's left of me) If I could believe the dreams aside (show me the way to these dreams) I am capable more than it seems 'Til there's nothing left of me Show me the way to these dreams Makes too much sense to me. Stress is a person i'd love to hate. If stress existed in a human physical form, I would kill it, along with sorrow, anger and confusion. People I hate. You should read the above song and consider if it applies to you. Makes more sense than you think it does. There's more to it than what it seems. Don't underestimate me and my capabilities. I know what I can do and I know when to do it. Is this all there is to life? Or is there more awaiting me that has yet to be discovered. That ignited spark in me, just disappered. Can a used match ever light up again? People spend lifetimes, in search of happines or peace. They even chase their dreams that might bring them to places so far away. The irony that the only place they have to search is deep within, where all the answers really lie. If the results I get tomorrow aren't what I desire. I will really feel useless. I need it so badly, and I want it. Grief is pointless when it is over, said and done. "No use crying over spilt milk". Then what the hell are we supposed to do? Saturday, May 17, 2008 trival For the first time, I reflected on my entire life. I never thought what I would want to achieve in life. Where all these routes would take me to, and even when I would arrive. I was in this state for the whole of yesterday, explaining the abscence of a post. Bullshit marks and people still gotta' rub it in my face and spite me. My results shall be kept private, unless there is more to notify on. I really feel useless now. There's no point to this any more. I don't deserve the good things in my life. I deserve otherwise. It has been a long times since anyone has seen the other side of me; it hurts. Will people every see through my glass mask? Or will I forever be able to keep myself calm and composed, hiding secrets between my vocal tones. Its now fair any more, it never was. I'm dissappointed is all I can say to myself right now. The rest just seems so oblivious to others. Their thinking. So cynical or is it? Influential people can never be spotted easily. I need time alone. Might be going away from blogging for while. Life is just too much for me to handle. All these things building up on me aren't doing me any good but they just keep darkening the outlook, slowly but still steadily. Restless I shall be, though exhausted. Flourish I shall, though I fail in every aspect I possibly can. Nurtured I shall be, yet mistreated. No. Thursday, May 15, 2008 Hostility One more day till I shall receive my papers. I have a very bad gut-feeling about it, and really think i'm going to do terribly. Let's just hope that's not the case. Between the time when you are walking up to collect ur exam script and the time where you retrieve it from you teacher, there's always this extremely frustrating contradictive feeling that everybody experiences. Excitement and anxiety. Good marks? Bad marks? What difference does it make. Thinking back into the past, I can picture many incidences whereas if some papers were done better, i'd be somewhere better in life now. As usual, another boring day at school with again, stupid post-exam activities like the "Prefects Dialogue Session". Basically you get to give feedback to the prefects and supposedly get answers. Firstly some of the people who asked the questions were really retarded. An argument about ankle socks went on for about half an hour. Complete waste of 2 hours, the only thing "productive" that I managed to accomplish was that I got the chance to sleep. I'm really overwhelmed with fatigue right now. Don't know why i've been feeling so dazed and confused for the past few days. I'm always feeling really tired. Need some rest I suppose. There's nothing to do on the computer now. Celine's going crazy with "girl" talk. Haha, like you becomes "eeuuu". Something like that. Tomorrow there's going to be band practice. The feeling of enthusiasm hasn't come back yet. I'm still in the "slacking" mode. Really not in the mood to do anything related to band or work at all right now. Rest is all I need. Especially when I have all those sore parts over my body. Limbs, ankles and I even somehow managed to sprain my thumb. PE practical is a heck of a rough journey to sail through. Sore. Wednesday, May 14, 2008 Eternity Just came back from a dinner with my parents for their 25th anniversary at Vivo City. Some times being the only child left in the house does have its french benefits. Never seen my parents so happy together before. It really amuses me about those stories they share about back in their old times where life was so easy-going. As long as technology continues to advance, our lives will never stop becoming more complicated each and every day. I can imagine the caveman times. Run to catch food, eat, sleep, run, eat more and sleep more. That sounds really hard to do doesn't it? I just don't know what to do in these few days. I dread the idea of having my results returned to me this friday. If I don't do well, i'm basically screwed for my holidays. And speaking of holidays, i'm planning to work at mos burget at TM. Anybody care to join me? I heard they 5 per hour, sounds pretty decent. Much better than McDonalds I suppose. The resumption of band practice has began. It just had to ruin my slacking streak. I am really not in the mood for any band practices now. I just need some time off to relax and slack. Not hours and hours of hard practice and scoldings. Give me a break! Adding on to my list of pain, my form teacher just had to spoil a tai di game when we were playing in class. Close margin to being caught. And it also had to be held on the same date as my PE practical assessment. Though I can't deny the fact that it was fun, it was a heck of a tiring lesson. The soccer assessment was pretty much screwed up no thanks to some awesome team mates but the hockey assessment went great for me. It started raining heavily and the field was slippery so I just took many shots. 2 went in(: Yay, but no I can't consider hockey for a CCA. Trauma from the past. I still have a tiny scar to show xD. Tuesday, May 13, 2008 Impulse Yeah, it was an impulse. Not much idea to why, but it just had to be done for some particular reason. Well yesterday my internet was down, explaining the lack of post. But the reason my internet wasn't working properly was cos' the wireless modem wasn't plugged in properly. I know, dumb. I only found out today with the help of Jerome. Today quite a few number of people came over to my house. Just slacked a lot and played soccer. It was really fun, despite the many times that the ball flew into my neighbours houses. Not good. For the past few days my eyes have been rather draggy and it's tough for me to keep awake. Especially in school, where nowadays stupid post-exam activities are held for us. Their just so boring, and why can't they just leave us alone to do whatever we want. I don't really know what to do now that the exams are over, but just to dreadfully await the harvest of our reaping. Ahh, the boredom is killing me. Sunday, May 11, 2008 Fatigue AEP exams, it's complicated. Don't ask. Yeah that's pretty much what i've been doing for today. AEP exam tomorrow. So gotta "prepare". And by the way, my aunt, whom has been living with me for the past few weeks along with my cousin/her daughter is leaving tonight. So yeah i'm going to bid them farewell. It's been sort of a joy having them around. They migrated to Australia quite a few years back and they come back here once in awhile. The next time i'll see them will probably be next year. Tomorrow might be going to catch a movie with a few classmates. Not really sure if I want to but it'll just depend on how I feel though. I really don't like quite a few of them. Oh well, not much to post about today. Till next time. Saturday, May 10, 2008 Irony Most of you would probably think why i'm posting so early. I'm not really sure myself. It's sort of an impulse that pushed me to start posting early in the morning. And by the way, i'm getting cash if people visit my blog so do come often(: Anyway woke up this morning with my dad messaging me something that sort of "inspired" me. Some times I really feel like a spoilt asshole. The little things that we ought to treasure in life, all forgotten about. The great things we are given that should be of such great value to us, are completely invisible. I feel that we're always neglecting the things we ought to keep dear to us. Lest we realise the importance of that thing till it's gone. Parents. Some say they might be a drag. But I think i've got the best I could ask for. Though my mum really nags at me too much. My dad just asked me if I wanted an SLR camera this morning. I didn't know what to say but I just felt I didn't deserve as much as I ought to. I don't know what to say. Anything heard might be thought as the wrong idea of what i'm really trying to say. Anyway, here's a really cool video, totally done just by him, no instruments. That's all for me. Friday, May 9, 2008 Seasons Ahh, the exams are over, but i'm not feeling like what I expected to feel like. I know there's still the art exam and all but something's just making me hesistate from that feeling of ecstasy. This really made me realise that I had many other causes of stress rather than the typical examinations. I got to go for some General Ability Test tomorrow. It's part of the IP application. Somewhere at Buona Vista Road. It's going to be a heck of a long journey there for me tomorrow. I need to go photocopy my PSLE cert. so I can submit my application once and for all. Sealing my fate, the irony. Short post today, not much to say. All I want is serenity. Thursday, May 8, 2008 Impulse Wow, exams have passed faster than I though they would. Tomorrow is the last paper, Science. Ugh, how I dread this feeling of having the worst subject last. Well it's the final sprint, slacking shall be the theme for my life after tomorrow is over. And I just figured, if the "B" I got in PSLE were to just turn into a lousy "A" or something, I wouldn't be here in VS, would probably be in some other school. Last minute mugging seems to be the most effective way for me to memorise things. But there just isn't enough space in that brain of my mind to store all the information for Science. There's just no way. Anyhows, English paper was fairly easy today. I had time to use the draft paper for some doodling. Yesterday I had my first individual drum class. I was like 10 minutes late, so my lesson only lasted about 20 minutes. It was really pathetic and didn't really help much. I'm going to take my grade 9 exam some time during June holidays I think. But I really think that I should do a grade higher and not just waste my time on this. So many sudden impulses are shocking me. Things that I never thought that I wanted to do suddenly seem like my deepest desire. Oh yeah, random point. I got a new bag yesterday at tampines mall from the zinc shop, yay. Yeah it's a sling bag and a two-strap bag too. Random photo of my AEP sculpture. Can you spot all the letters of my name? Not bad okay, I got 31/40 for this. Tuesday, May 6, 2008 past Ahh, almost past the finish line. 3 more papers to go, Chinese, English and Science. I got to brace myself for the celebrations after all this is over. Really. Why does AEP exams have to ruin this whole thing for us. I just found out so far I got 62/125 -.-. Not including some components, but yeah that's what I got so far. Once tomorrow's Chinese exam is over, the minority will be left and also there's really not much to study for English since it's a comprehension passage. Science will be a tough one though, will have to study for Chemistry and Physics which are sub-divided into even more complicating topics. Argh, the stress. The Math paper being so terribly difficult today doesn't really help. I'm expecting to get a 60% maybe? Or perhaps lower =X Hope not. Everything's a damn blur. Really anticipating the end of this stressful week. Oh yeah and to add on to the list of problems, my chinese teacher wants to give my group members and I a total "0" for our SA1 if we don't complete our project by this friday. It's really going to be tough for me if I fail Chinese. She said she wouldn't even let me take the paper -.-" Well drum lessons tomorrow, I changed to the individual class already. Yay, no more dragging. Monday, May 5, 2008 Irony I find it hard to believe that i'm studying so hard for exams, but I don't really think i'm going to give a damn about what my results are. Irony perhaps? I need some time for slacking. Mugging for maths is the worst. Literature and Chinese paper was quite easy today. My hand was really sore from writing so much in the literature paper. All that I really need to revise now is my science. How am I to study for English anyway? Read? Sorry but it's not really my kind of "recreational activity" though I might "try" and I repeat "try" to read a book during the holidays. It would be a first for me to actually read finish something. Just clearing my mind is a tough thing to do, keeping my mind off the very fact that i'm going through exams right now. And oh yeah, I got a big "0" for my damn Chinese project cos' we didn't do a thing. Damn. We were supposed to interview a hawker. Argh, hope it won't affect my results too bad. I'll just have to score well for the main paper I guess. Lethargy is overtaking me in this race for freedom of studies. I don't know if i'll be able to make it out with bright spirits and jubilee even after the exams have come to an end. Especially with intensive band practice dragging me down. I'll really have to rack my brains on how to organise my schedule. God help me. I really want some time with friends and get back into my old social circle you know? Argh, I miss so many old friends, and i'm still waiting for that one person. I just don't want to say it here, its not very appropriate. Anyway I changed my blog song cos' "Fake it" was kinda' getting boring. Didn't want to put a metal song cos' it would probably scare alot of people away. So i'm putting something more "family orientated" for readers. Enjoy the musical stylings of Kutless, a christian rock band. Love them hate them. Your choice. Sunday, May 4, 2008 Cordial Argh, the preasure is catching up with me in this tight race. Soon everybody will crack and show their true inner-self of how people relate with stress. Me? Not quite. Literature and Chinese paper one tomorrow, I thought that it was suppose to be the English paper. Ahh, my schedules really messed up, organisation! Everybody seems so overbearing around me in this cordial environment we call school. When exams come, their true colours are revealed by the melting of that layer of "fraud" covering themselves. Why? I just need to get on with exams and not think as much as I really need to. These things disturb me in many different ways. Just thinking about survival and some time management is definitely nessacary. I just need to keep my focus in sight and just not let it stray away from my vision. Photoshopping stuff; for some reason, helps me cope with stress and also boredom. Amusing I find it. My dog must so hate me for that, haha. Why do I hate my school you ask? It's amazing what you can find on the back of people's heads. In the media lab. Zi lian lah -.- Well these are what I have been doing instead of mugging. Yeah, it's time I started to get back on track again. Friday, May 2, 2008 Transitions Too lazy to post today, shall move on to the pictures. I would be lying if I said the History paper was easy. And the English composition questions were quite easy. That's all I have to say for today. I know it doesn't look like it but its the top view of a bottle. This is the bottle of the above picture. See the link? Haha, a good-luck jade pendant from my aunt ^^ Thursday, May 1, 2008 Ahh, legs are sore from a tiring hour of soccer. Somehow I think I managed to sprain my toe -.-". Well, a whole labour's day spent watching soccer (Chelsea VS Liverpool) and mugging for history paper tomorrow. It's going to be a rough week from here on end. I'll just have to bare with the burden. The harvest shall be sweet and prosperous. Have the english narrative essay tomorrow also. Have no clue what the question's going to be. No thanks to my english teacher for teaching us with such benelovence *cough*. All that's been said and done. I feel i'm quite well prepared for the SAs already. Except for some last minute revision on my maths and science. I think i'm going to be ok for the others. At least I hope so. That spark will soon be ignited and we shall all rejoice with crazy mannerisms. Art exam is gonna be tough for me. I don't think i'll be going with the painting option. Black and white's for me I guess. Painting. Just not my thing. For all you people out there. Let's get in the mood for intense last minute mugging and the slacking shall be continued afterwards. I really can imagine life after the SAs. But too bad that band prac has got to ruin my free 2 weeks before the month-long holiday.
I'm coming back with a goal and nothing is gonna' stop me.