It's time I rebooted my system starting afresh, http://lastly-dispirited.blogspot.com
Profile daniel ng, 14.10.94 http://www.facebook.com/ngyjd.3 http://baby-drummer23.deviantart.com drums; photography; design; pool; gym. victorian slave; 4C. Band Geek no more. 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Sunday, June 29, 2008 reflections Well, here it is after 3 days of reading and reflections. I shan't post today as I am having major keyboard trouble where numbers come out when I type the top row of letters. Here is an example of what comes out when I type the top row, q1w2e3r4t5y6u7i8o9p0. So I shall slowly cancel out the numbers from this post. Saturday, June 28, 2008 somnolent Whoa, it's been a long day and man am I smoked out. But through all and all, their reign has come to an end, and I find it rather saddening. To part with something you have been with for 4 and a half years, that truly has to be painful. I really appreciate all the Sec 4s hard efforts to raise our bands standards, and i'm really grateful we had seniors like you. And with that, I give my sincerest thanks for all you've done for the band. You've had enough of your fun for today though, heh, percussion owns the rest. Well, after the handover it was pretty much just slacking in the band room doing nothing for an hour so, argh, turkish march I hate you! The invitation for lunch was hard to refuse, and I just had to. Heck, it was their last day, might as well tag along for lunch. And damn did I regret it. After all for today, I am officially broke and have, let's see, 65 cents left in my wallet? No thanks to some people who have to borrow cash. Ugh, after lunch was the usual worship practice, and the bible study started at 5.30, and I really know that I wouldn't have survived if I hadn't brough my iPod along on the hour-long bus ride from roxy square to pasir ris. Worship practice actually managed to last till 10.15 or so, and i'm really very very tired. I'm so tired that i'm just too lazy to use appropriate vocabulary to emphasise on how tired I really am. Shachah, proskuneo, latriea, avad, yare, phobeomai, hoda and exomologeo. To bow down, to serve and offer service, to fear God's power and to give thanks and confess that he is Christ. The true meaning of worship, it's not a time period. Though we are not worthy of what we deserves, the things we receive are all God-given. And by right, I think everybody ought to have finished their readings of the book of Mark today. I started this week on wednesday instead of like 15th June if i'm not wrong. So yeah, for the past few days i've been doing about 3-4 chapters. I didn't really have the exact drive to read in the beginning. But I realise now, it's for the better. I shall scan my reflections in tomorrow, as you know i'm really too tired to do any of it now. I really got to stop typing, my eyes can't keep up with the pace of the words that are coming out on screen. Ugh, how are we to find the perfect balance in life. Studies, CCA commitment and so many others. Priorities need to be set! It's been a hell' of a journey with you guys, but let us start our own reign, and this time we'll be in the lead. Ready. Friday, June 27, 2008 versatility Forever through thick and thin, changes will always take place among us. There is no doubt that in life, friends are lost, friends are gained and and all the more, friends will be cherished. As secondary school life takes us away from our "childhood" days, being primary school, we seem to drift further and further away from our old buddies. That bond so painstakingly created is stretching more and more as we spend greater amounts of time away from them. That bond will soon snap. Unless you start preventing it from stretching. But how? Amidst all this fuss in school and "stress" everybody experiences once in a while. How is one suppose to catch up with your old friends when your that busy. Being subjected to labelling in this education system really sucks. As we "stream" to be placed in different classes according to our "intelligence rates", how are we to excel anyway. Isn't the idea to create the best education possible? Some times I think this government's brainless. Ugh. To appreciate the work of a musician such as John Petrucci, is just amazing. I shall not say much for today, for tomorrow I shall have much to say. The "fun" shall end, and their reign will die. The Sec 3s will take control and lets see if things get out of hand. It's been a great time being under the lead of the current generation of Sec 4s. Batch of 2008, Sec 4s, I shall remember you. Thanks for the ride. Thursday, June 26, 2008 indifferent ╔/═/╦/═/═/╦═/╗ ║/╩/╣/║/║/║/║║ ╚/═//╩╩/╩/╩/═╝ What a common misconception. Turning away from the path of a renegade is not as easy as it usually seems. Already the homework's starting to pile up and soon it's just going to come tumbling all the way down, squishing me like the bug I am. School's been alright though, just needa' catch up with a bit of work here and there, but i've got to say, art homework's really intense. Choosing to be part of this elective might've not been such a good idea after all. Art for "O"s? I'll just have to try my best then. Thinking through about my life. Have I really been predestined by God to achieve anything? Has it already been foreordained among ourselves that we already have a path that we are glued on? Do we have any choice that would make a difference, or does God already know the choices we were to make, what if we were to plan otherwise. Even if we went back on our choices, He would probably already know. All this hullabaloo about what our future's going to turn out like really gets on my nerves some times. The typical nagging of thy mother,"If you don't study well, how are you going to get a good job in the future? Do you want to just have a mediocre life?" Why not? Is all I have to say, if some of us were to live the life of an average person, what would be the problems with it. Ain't that the typical features of having an average life in the first place? Why bother adding more complexities to life when it already has enough. Unravelling the complications would be a whole lot worse for the so-called "upper class of society". Would you like to be a part of so much hardwork to the point of extent where you lose touch of reality? Or when life eventually fades into a whole new routine of coeval, no spontaneous incidents whatsoever. Damn, that's the kind of life I definitely don't wanna' dwell in. To carry on in the seeking of knowledge in this Singaporean education system brings the word "pointless" to a whole new level. Anyway, it's been a heck of a tiring day today. Been suscepted to many injuries and sores from hand to toe. Even right now my forearm starts to ache from the simple task of typing. Ugh, abstaining from the computer is getting pretty difficult. Every time I need to do work on the computer, I despise it, always getting preoccupied with the harms of gaming addictions. Well as I said, i'm getting preoccupied, especially with this useless site. Gotta' start on my art stuff now. Let's go. Just one time you got a reason Heard you had nothing to lose A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation It must be easy to loathe Wednesday, June 25, 2008 trauma The house of pool is my house :D Really not much to say for today, it's been drowsy. Ceramics lessons for art are really taking up alotta' time. One lessons can drag on and delay for about 45 minutes or so. Though it still is kinda fun I guess, heh. Tuesday, June 24, 2008 apoplectic Some people piss me off at times, but I bare with it. But once a close friend really does too much, it really just enrages me. For a guy to gossip is just too weird, but even to gossip about retarded ass things? Damn man, i'm really starting to get heavy doubts. Your starting to be a total jackass in my eyes. The kinda' shit your up to makes you so loathesome and its revolting really. They say people change as they grow, I never knew the change was so big. What happened damn it? You got something to say? Say it straight to my face and not to your "possy". I usually try to keep my "fancy language" to a minimum, but your fucking antics really, like a piece of shit flung to my face. What happened to you now? Your just a coward and a big ass poser. Your not who you used to be any more. Unnecessary bullshit dude. What the hell is wrong with some people nowadays, ugh. Forget it. As old friends come by once in awhile to simply meet up and catch up for old times' sake, some people stay the same while others have changed routes. The simple hair, a common "feature" for the average persons appearance. Can it change so much whereas none of your old buddies recognise you? Or perhaps you have changed too much yourself. I'm feeling too riled to post much right now. Taking out my frustrations through other means shall help. No drinking. I have kept commitments. For the R.A.W campers who think I haven't been doing Mark reflections, I have been writing them in a lil' journal. The classics. Will post them once the 15th chapter is done. At one shot. DAMN. Monday, June 23, 2008 escape My escape routines for the usual hair checks after every holiday has yet to fail me yet again. Well, there really is nothing much to say about today, but ceramics for art lessons is gonna' be a hell of a time. We didn't even mould anything today, but we just made lumps of clay that we would use for our next lesson. And damn it was a mess. My shirt was overthrown with clay. Heh, my dad recently bought a rubiks cube for I don't know why, and I actually managed to figure it out :D. Never really bothered to find out the key algorithms to it. Its really quite simple once you get to know it, heh. Well here it goes, the race has started and we have no choice but to just keep on running. Its gonna' be a rough term for me. No slacking off, easier said than done for sure. Sunday, June 22, 2008 collateral Taken by my sister in Italy, home of pasta and love. What could be a better combo. What would it mean to be immature? Would it require oneself to be immature as well? How is the image of immaturity portrayed in this life? Lil' kids running around being spoilt, or rather grown up people sulking? It's a tedious task to be able to grasp the concept of this idea. There are too many contributions to its meaning. Like the old hokkien saying goes "wa si boh long yong eh, dan kua le ai si liao loh". Though its not possible to type hokkien, I guess its meaning can still be understood based on the sound and enunciation of the words. It translates to "Yes, I am useless, but still, the sigh of you makes me want to die". Well thats sorta' the exact translation. How weird it is to believe that though some people are on the verge of losing they're entire life like they're future career and all that. They are still able to hold vengeful grudges against others. Will there ever be a world without hate? Or is it just not possible at all. Neither can a world without money exist. It's just like glasses without eyes, and a printer without ink. As life begins to reveal more about itself to us more and more each day. Do we really take note of it all? Do we truly understand that we're being told something for a "greater purpose"? Being indignant doesn't help much either. Some times, reality just has to give us a tight slap in order to wake up from this dazedly state. Whether or not the slap might hurt, it's for our very own good I guess. If you were a light in a completely pitch dark room. Would it by any means be possible to be inconspicuous? Some people in this world, are like the complete opposite of that statement. In a room so bright, full of light bulbs and all, there would be one that would'nt be working. How long would it be able to remain hidden. How long can you hide behind that mask of yours. It might be a mask made out of metal, but what difference does it make? Your going to be revealed as the sham you are anyway, purporting things you never really did, making it all the more worse for yourself. How am I to cope with the reality as life gets back on track and takes a detour from the holiday path. I don't think it would be a rather easy task for me to cope with the slow settling back of school-life. To be honest, i'm rather resentful with myself. Not achieving as much as I hoped to during the holidays. I really got to snap out of this wonderland that i'm in right now. I'm gonna' start my life anew, though it just needs some polishing, school shall be of my best interest in this struggle of social status. To be on top of the "food-chain". How would it feel like? Respect, honour, glory and whatever other perks that come with the position. Would it make much of a difference to the prey anyway? They'd rather just get eaten I guess. Draw nearer, but not to near. Lets take it back to the holidays and see what we get. HARVEST, REAPING AND A HELL LOTTA' WORK COMING TO YOU THIS TERM. Get ready, its a promise. No more shitty empty talk, its real now. Saturday, June 21, 2008 negligence I haven't been posting as of late. Perhaps it's due to that damned burden of the fact that the school holidays will come to an end this week. It's always this feeling at the last moments of long holidays that make me reflect on what i've done over the past few weeks. Well I guess the answer is pretty short of reaching my target. So many things have happened over the past four weeks. Some have been a hell of a time but some of these things just leave me there like dust in the wind, doing nothing but just waiting to be blown away by the slightest breeze. The darnest things happen for the stupidest reasons, and to make things worse, most of the problems I have are caused by nobody else but myself, and dragging other people into this pit of resent isn't doing me good either. Is musicianship really a good path to set your future foundation? Or is it just like building a foundation on water. Would it be pointless or meaningful. If it were pointless to the extent similar to a Las Vegas without gambling, I wouldn't want anything more to do with music. If it were meaningful, like the words of God spoken in a time of distress. Damn I would really like to walk down that lane. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not into music just for a future career or anything, but, if it really doesn't bare any fruit or reap any harvest, it might be the least of my concerns right now. I gotta' sort out many things in this lil' bit of grace time. Priorities have been a recent trouble, and so has time management. Those two bastards better get off my back. Argh. There's no more infatuation in this smitten life of mine. And I really hope there wouldn't be for a long time. How can it be helped? I need some inspiration here, all my "idols" haven't been of "top form" recently. How easy would it be to give something up you treasured all your life. Would it be easy to throw away your career if something as valuable as your parents' lives were at stake? You might think it would be easy, but not until you come to that situation would understand the meaning of sacrifice. Well to sidetrack a little bit here, my parents finally spotted that lil' hole in my ear. To my surprise they really didn't mind at all. Just didn't want me to dwell on the "dark side" of life. What difference does it make regardless? Hate it when my mum states the obvious in my face. To drift away from what you were just so recently is a big step of change. Perhaps my parents think i'm really drifting to a void. Well, that's life for ya'. Decisions have to be made one way or the other. Some would be life-defining moments, whereas some, completely inane. There we go, the bell has rung and our times almost up. Let's start packing and preparing for a hell' of a time. Few more months more. Life defining in procedure. Lets show life what we got. Wednesday, June 18, 2008 jam Damn, drums seem to work wonders for me. Or is it the other way round? Heh. Fast forward to the bit at 2:40 or so, that was really an accident and I didn't plan that. Lucky I had a spare pair of sticks by my side. I really need to thank Gabriel so much for lending me his cymbals, stands and even his freaking snare! Can't believe he actually lent it to me. She's a real beauty. Finding myself weird falling in love with inanimate objects, heh. But it really is beautiful and has the roaring sound of a marching snare, with double snares at the bottom. It sounds too good to be true. Well, guess i'm playing for worship this Sunday since all the drummers have been worn out by the camp. Really qsyched out about playing I guess. I didn't really make much of a good impression for the first time I played for worship. Holiday homework is on the verge of completion though. Just needs a few sprinkles of touch-ups here and there. Well I guess i'm pretty much done for today. The IP interview didn't exactly go as I planned it would have. The whole bunch of questions were all concerned with my academics and to see if I could cope with the stress I guess. I suspect that they doubt my abilities. I might doubt them too. Wish they had asked me other certain questions. I would have felt so much more comfortable. Bleah, anyway it's over and done with, and i've got no choice but to wait for the arrival of the results. Hope. Tuesday, June 17, 2008 survival It seems like it's the only thing I have left to me. Bleah, i'm awaiting results for a few competitions to see if i've won any cash. Till then I gotta' consider what hardwares and cymbals to buy from Gab. Definitely getting his "K Splash". Probably getting a couple of stands too. Really wanna' get a decent pedal or pedals to be exact :D. Hmm, i'm feeling pretty bored now, and i'm giving some thought in to actually starting on holiday homework. I've actually managed to finish most of my math assignments, but I really can't be bothered with the Chinese assignment of doing a powerpoint book review? I don't even know how to type Chinese characters. My schedule is pretty much booked for this week. Got alotta' stuff going on and i'm really not in the mood to do much of it. I got the IP interview tomorrow which pretty much stresses me out. I hope they don't judge me on looks or anything cos' I think I don't exactly look like your normal everyday model pupil. Just gotta' hope that I don't choke or stone after they ask me the questions. I never really received the gift of talking to adults. Got a photography workshop this friday held by school's media club and it's not really of my greatest interest. I'm not really in to professional photography. I just capture what I like and see what happens. More of experimenting if you may. Well I just got to let life take its path and see what happens in the near future. Gotta' have all the luck I have for tomorrow and brace myself. CHOKE! Monday, June 16, 2008 coverging I can't take it any more. If I don't give up some of the damn things I hold so dear to me, i'm going to be on the verge of losing my sanity. Sacrifices are the hardest to make and I really can't stand much of this any longer. The pressure is enough to make my head explode. There are too many things swirling around this dimension I call life. Ugh, I try so hard and yet the people that don't try at all get what I desire. But though that may be so, I just got to remember, "those who live by the sword, shall die by the sword". Even so, I think i'm using a gun anyway. Damn, some people really don't deserve what they get, and I can't stand it. How the hell am I having a mid-life-crisis when this is just my teenage years. People just don't see it the way I do I guess. Anybody understand what it feels like to just give up everything that means so much to you? Soon I might even lose my gifts. I don't know whats happening. That void seems as though it has been filled up with nothing but anger. And I don't think that I can just keep taking out on my drums any more. Neither can I take it out by exercise. Violence can be controlled but with so many people around me that have changed, so many people that have provoked me and even childhood "brothers" gone down the dark path. I feel helpless to salvage them, let alone join them. Provenance. Something i'm trying too hard to remember. The early days together are as pointless as painting all the grass in the world green right now. The fire is doused, and I don't think it would be ignited again for a long time. I really need a light now, not literally in the vice context, but just some sort of "epiphany", if you may. I can't help but just struggle, I can't just lay here and do nothing. Helping enemies really makes me feel hot under the collar. The vessels in my body strain. I can't help but feel useless. They're drifting away from me, futher and further each day. One day, it's going to be out of my reach and I really will be saddened. Nobody seems to know what feelings are these days any more, and though some of you might not have a clue what i'm really saying, you don't have to. I just gotta' pour it all out. They don't give a damned thing about whatever you feel, it's becoming hopeless to a horrid extent. Argh, tear my heart out. I don't need it any more. In the past we were so close, as we grew you lost direction. Our brotherhood was cherished the most, and that mirror shows a horrid reflection. Can't you see what you've become, nothing more than society's scum. How could you drift away so remotely, when I was there to guide you slowly. The past times we spent together, the impact it had, as light as a feather. Through all and all you have gone, our brotherhood again i'll long. Vice and crime is your hobby, for all I care don't even show me. Don't drag me down with all your shit, your messages, I can't interprete it. I shall not be influenced, and it won't be long. Though life's spiralling down, I shall remain strong. past For some reason, I going to post all my favourite pictures. Tell me what's your favourite yeah? I'm shortlisting them for competitions. If your a frequent visitor here, I think you would have seen most of them before but yeah just give me your opinion(: Cheers. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. Sunday, June 15, 2008 renewal For those of you who are unaware, I have been in church camp for the past 4 days, and man has it been tiring. To sum up this whole camp in one word, I would say it was "renewal". Ever since i've been drifting away from God from the beginning of the Sec 1 era, my life's really been turning into a complete mess-up. The camp for me was like building a ten-story card house. First, you start off slow and steady, then you begin to get more adventurous and build faster. But when it comes to the last two cards at the very top you get too excited and you screw your whole tower up as you place the final two in place. But for that split second where those two last cards actually balanced at the top, ecstasy. That breath inhaled in is only there for such a short while, so short that there's not enough time to cherish that moment. Well my tower falling down was due to various reasons. Some people, simply are just hypocrites. Sure they act so touched and devoted during the worships but when it's sleeping time, metamorphosis takes place. That seemingly "beautiful" creature turns into a monster. I couldn't stand it any longer I had to resort to violence. It's been a long time since I blew over. And that last time wasn't a very pleasant sight. But lucky for me I guess I managed to control myself a little better this time. I didn't really hurt the guy, just choked him up a little bit, but I think the "explicit" language could've been avoided. I really hate it when that other side of me comes out. I don't want to be reminded of the past any more, and I was hoping so deeply that this camp would help me forget about the dark past. But no, it possibly made it more memorable. I lost track of who I was, or who I am right now. I really gotta' start to wake up from this daze and snap back to reality. The weight's getting too much too handle for me right now, but still I guess the camp really helped me out with my relationship with God again. I was drifting away, further and further as each day died and a new one was born. That bond wasn't there any more. But this camp made a difference, it sorta' reminded me that i'm still not alone. HE's always in me and he forever will be. I actually wrote diary entries on the first and second day but it was really too late for me to write on the third and forth day. It ain't really the same thing as blogging but I guess it's pretty similar. I'll scan in the first entry later on. Though I will remember each day with such pleasant and also abhorrent memories, they will be engraved in my mind. This path that Glenn Lim went down. I'm afraid I might slip on to that path and never get back. I gotta' come back to my senses or i'll be gone. Thought i've been so tired out, this camp has really inspired me to do more than just talk, but also to start action. I gotta' dump that bunch of "friends". Vice ain't an option for me at this point of time. And yet obsessions are soon becoming one. There are too many things going around in my life right now. It's really going to get messier by the second if I don't do anything about it. Clean it up, or the net's going to break and I really will snap. I'm losing it soon. And by the way the picture of the cross and the staircase was taken today while I was like spending time at the rooftop just wandering for a reason. Feel bad about skipping the whole sermon. But yeah I guess that time alone up there made me realise a few bits and pieces of revelations and gifts. Drums are the only things that seem to work out much for me. It brings me to a whole new place I guess. Just jamming along to music really helps me out with troubles. If my drums were people they'd be pretty sore now anyway. Argh, I hate being labelled. Especially when people really don't know you. When will people stop thinking i'm emo? I hate emos. What's wrong with just spending time alone. I just like to do that to reflect kay? Yeah so that's something I got to clarify. I'm just not myself around church people I guess. If I were I might freak some people out. Ugh, i'm really losing my energy. I need to wake up. Replenish me. damn Tuesday, June 10, 2008 moved Any one game enough? Yeah, you should watch the video above if you haven't done so. You never see these types of things in Singapore, ever. I'm sure many people know about this campaign, considering that the other video has 27 million views. But nobody really takes action. Anybody care to join me? Heh, knowing our Singaporean "heritage", I don't think that would be many good responses coming from kids like me. Hugs, just a physical contact between people that can bring them so much closer together and can even bring people to tears. Some times in this world full of hatred and gluttony, alll we really need is a nice warm hug. It doesn't matter who it's from but I guess it really means alot. The "social disconnectivity" between the many people nowadays leads to the lack of human contact. It's sad that police and officials actually ordered this campaign to be banned. I think they need a hug too. The campaign is a world-wide one, there are so many cities "participating" in this. Really touches me. Here's their link. Well what do we know anyway eh? We're just kids. These people bring back meaning to "mutual love". The feeling must be great for them. People in the other countries treat them as they were heroes. If people did this in Singapore, I doubt they would get the same reactions. My guess is that most people would go "siao gin na". Hope i'm wrong. The differences one person can make in the world might not be brilliant. But the INFLUENCES, could change the world. If one person managed to change the opinions of many, the messages would spread on oh so quickly. It's sad how we lose our insight on what our life really is like just beacause of all these daily things like work, studies and even thinking about your future career. Some times we get so worked up over these things and it really saddens me that even myself have succumbed to the pains of studies. Everybody remember what your life was when you were in primary school. Carefree, why not live your life now just like it was in the past. Don't give excuses, because you can, it's up to you to make a difference. Monday, June 9, 2008 damn I work too hard (: Well I guess it's over between me and you. No more distractions for me from now on. I hope. Garh, the major downsides of being in a boys school, their starting to kick me in to "overdrive". Well it's been fun and I shan't bother you any more. It's really been fun. Love is any mans game. Love can create ecstasy and yet it can create bitter rivalries. Take fire for an example. It could provide warmth and give survival if any were in a desperate state for heat/cooking. And yet, it could create catastrophies for many, and even kill. The intensity of it would burn you alive causing pain to an unbearable extent. Its fooled me too many times. I guess it's just not meant to be at this "unripe" age. Patience shall be my virtue I guess. I'll wait for you. Well aside from that, i'm really getting more and more tired as each day takes its toll on me. I had a hard time sleeping yesterday. I'm not sure if the many thoughts in my head were the cause of it but I laid on my bed for a couple of hours before I finally hit the hay. Drumming's the only time when I feel alive, it's sorta' my "inspiration". I gotta' wait for my sister to come back from her awfully long holiday so I can get back the charger for the camera and record some drum covers. Grade 8 here I come, and screw the lessons, freestyles the way to go. Everything seems so woozy around me. I can't keep my head from bobbing forward and backwards countlessly. Even as I try to do homework, some hypnotics seem to deter me. Bleah, I gotta' wake up now. All this empty talk isn't doing me any good. They say time flies when you're having fun. Well if that is so, I guess time struggles and limps when you're bored the hell out of. Gotta' give time some steroids or something if you want it to get by faster. Tired man. Sunday, June 8, 2008 burden Well I changed my mind about me not having to say anything regarding today. Guess I have stuff I sorta' need to get some stuff off my chest right now. God's intervention can do brilliant things. This so called "epiphany" i'm experiecing. The person I used to be is no more, and in the current process of moulding a new life, I hope it would be unimpaired compared to my "previous life". It's amazing how unknown facts about somebody can seem so out of character. For example, the toughest man in the world could have been bullied during his childhood and might have gotten revelations that made him decide he wanted to make a change. Well anybody who's determined to change for the better, I salute you. The revelations are so different from the past they some how manage to scare me. For instance, looking back at my old blog of last year. It scares me of how "poser-like" I was. Here's the link. Surprises you how different I was? Wow, the "old" times scare me. Even if it was only a year ago. The difference is astonishing. Being used as "collateral" by people wasn't very great. But I still remember the carefree life of primary school. To think we thought it was stressful then. Look at the times of now. Drastic. Some things just push me off my limits. Really can't stand the verdance of some people. I'm not saying anything in praise of myself. But though i'm just some kid, you still got know the bit of EQ. Damn, some people don't understand the meaning of "respect". By oxford terms; a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities. What does it mean to elicit? Do we have to put an end to it or revoke it? I have no idea. Life gets us tangled up in this damn web until we're completely hopeless, just waiting for that spider to eat you up. Word posts haven't been of good frequency. I'm just a kid living my life. Reality. Lyrics | Waking The Demon lyrics bounty I'm gonna' find you spammer. Not much to say about today. Saturday, June 7, 2008 paranoia Aiy, futurama and family guy. Stuck between these two shows. They're simply too addictive. Here's a link where you can watch quite a few videos. Been trying to start on my holiday homework, but first, I got to find out what it is anyway. I don't know if I can keep up with the pace i'm changing. I have no idea how but i'm actually changing without myself knowing how. Things that I never thought I would become have taken over. Body piercing has its limits and some people really push it too far to the extent that it's just plain gross. If the people I saw with those countless piercing were to take out all the studs and what not, their faces would probably look like cheese. Full of holes. Some people even younger than me. Getting piercing all over the ear and the face, it's disgusting really. Not much to say for now. Church tomorrow. Camp let's go. Friday, June 6, 2008 hidden If your life were set out on a mind map. Simple as it would be, would there be many bullet points charted under the "secrets" column? Would there be many bullet points under "sins"? I'm sure I would have many, and I think I probably would have exceptionally more bullet points under the "mistakes" section. I'm sure many of you would as well. Some times I just think about the foolish things I did when I was young. The money it would save on, the trouble it would save for many. I couldn't care less as a child. I couldn't care less now. What is it about life that is so hard to understand for us. How did we come about in the first place? Thinking of those people who wander aimlessly each day on the streets, living life by their own set of rules. Will they ever come to their senses and realise there's more to life than what it seems. Would there be a time when drugs, theifing and smokes would be of least value to anybody? When life for everybody would be smooth. Why isn't this so? Or is this a challenge or "obstacle" we live by everyday. I know i'm not treasuring my life properly. Are you? I gotta' fix it. Aggravating it. Argh, at a loss of words. Thursday, June 5, 2008 Reunion Well back from a long day. Class reunion wasn't exactly as planned. Cos' it was only me, marcus and annabella, and she's not even from our class. So yeah it was pretty boring just walking around Suntec City, doing absolutely nothing. Anyway, it was good to catch up with old friend I guess. The amount that people can change over a period of 2 years is astonishing. If I behaved how I am now in primary school, I think I might've been caught up in quite a bit of trouble. How fickle one can be, without limitations, it can reach a point of danger. Gah, what am I talking about? I need to get my life back. I don't really know if it's lost or it just needs to be brushed up on. And celine I hate you for making a certain call -.- You know what i'm talking about. Not much to say for today. Make your holidays fruitful. I shall try. Tuesday, June 3, 2008 struggle Though it seems like everything in the world is against me, admist all the ruckus, I now realise I don't cherish the things I ought to and I really need to learn how to treasure my assets. I shall continue to strive till the very day I die and on that day the taste of victory will surely be sweet. In our lifetimes we all do make mistakes, but we just got to learn from them no matter how "cliche" that might sound. I got to start learning how to jump those hurdles of throe. Everybody's given roles in life. It's just a matter if they realise what it is. What's my role in life? I'm still on the verge of finding out. Though rembering our true roots will surely be difficult, our foundation and initial nurturing should remain strong in our hearts. Give props to our parents. I know my resolutions and what I need, no, MUST do. Even if my tireless efforts fail to reap me any harvest whatsoever, I shall remain vigilant and proud of myself as I would have known how much determination was set forth in the journey. I shall continue my fight and this will last forever. There will be struggles, and there definitely will be those sweet memories that will never be forgotten. This is all that's left. Leave the bad behind and start anew. I shall find those revalations. Now do yourself a favour. Sunday, June 1, 2008 Spontaneous It's apparent that it's becoming a "tradition" that each post will be accompanied with pictures. The "tradition" shall carry on. Now let's try a different comparison of soccer rather than dancing. Life is like a soccer game, except that 90 minutes or more in a soccer game would be equivalent to the rough 60+ years of your life. So that's a heck of a long soccer game. In soccer, there are many positions; the defender, the midfielder, the strike and the goalkeeper. These positions all sub-divided into different areas of the playing field. So in a real-life context, you, the individual, play each part. The defender. Doesn't get many scoring oppurtunities, but is still a key role in preventing the offence of the opposition. The midfielder. Gets some scoring oppurtunities, but is more important for supplying good crosses and passes for the striker. The striker. Gets glory for scoring and is supplied with many scoring oppurtunities. Having to get pass the defence, many people do not understand the preasure they are put under. Last but not least, the goalkeeper. Some might say he's the least of importance and some might say he's the player of most value. Keepers have the job of preventing the opposition from scoring and are usually not treated with due respect, considering the amount of preasure they are under most of the time. A keeper doesn't really cost much in the transfer market. So back to the real-life context. When we play the defender, we have to defend against the opposition, protecting our "territory". Some times defenders might be careless and make careless tackles, but they still have the rest of the game to make up for it. So in life when you make slip-ups, you still have the rest of your life to live through no matter the scoreline. Lest you get substituted. When we play the midfielder, we are like "followers", giving all the great oppurtunities to the strikers rather than taking them for yourself. But if you do decide to take a shot on goal and you miss, the consequences are great. But if you do score, you gain glory and respect. Some times in life we have to take risks but we must know when exactly to take them lest we miss. When we play the striker, it's all up to us. You are the leader of your "army". There's nobody else for you to pass to but your other fellow strikers. You have to take the oppurtunity with composure and just hope that the ball goes in the net. Life gives us many oppurtunities and we have to be daring enough to seize them. It's okay if we miss, we have the rest of the game to play. And of course, the goalkeeper. When all hope is lost and the only thing standing between the opposing striker and the goal is you, the amount of preasure is gargantuan. You are forced to remain calm and composed and it's usually expected that you will definitely let in a goal, but if you prove the spectators wrong, you are a hero. Glory is yours. In life we just have to remain strong and focus on what we have to do. Not let distractions hinder us from our main target, keeping the ball out of the net. That's the aspect of soccer in a real-life context. Here are some more random photos taken only by my phone.
I'm coming back with a goal and nothing is gonna' stop me.