It's time I rebooted my system starting afresh, http://lastly-dispirited.blogspot.com
Profile daniel ng, 14.10.94 http://www.facebook.com/ngyjd.3 http://baby-drummer23.deviantart.com drums; photography; design; pool; gym. victorian slave; 4C. Band Geek no more. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Tagboard Tagboard Ads Exits adeline ahdes annabella's shop anna anne ashraf audrey azalea ben bertrand celine christopher colleen colin collin crystal clarice daniel daniel chia david SG david;brother darren debbie deborah denise engchuan elvina felicia gabriel[vs] gabriel jac janeen jeff jerlynn jesper joel jong jianjun kai juan karen kelly liang zhi liyan mandie marie marcus meizhi melinda melissa natalie nicole qianying rachel rayson rifdi ryan sam.p samantha wong sarah serene shabbna shafeeq shaun sheldon siRong siewting solihin stephanie veronica weining weeqin wenya yixiang youth ministry! yuzhen Archives November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 December 2010 Credits ©Glamouresque.	Monday, June 16, 2008 coverging I can't take it any more. If I don't give up some of the damn things I hold so dear to me, i'm going to be on the verge of losing my sanity. Sacrifices are the hardest to make and I really can't stand much of this any longer. The pressure is enough to make my head explode. There are too many things swirling around this dimension I call life. Ugh, I try so hard and yet the people that don't try at all get what I desire. But though that may be so, I just got to remember, "those who live by the sword, shall die by the sword". Even so, I think i'm using a gun anyway. Damn, some people really don't deserve what they get, and I can't stand it. How the hell am I having a mid-life-crisis when this is just my teenage years. People just don't see it the way I do I guess. Anybody understand what it feels like to just give up everything that means so much to you? Soon I might even lose my gifts. I don't know whats happening. That void seems as though it has been filled up with nothing but anger. And I don't think that I can just keep taking out on my drums any more. Neither can I take it out by exercise. Violence can be controlled but with so many people around me that have changed, so many people that have provoked me and even childhood "brothers" gone down the dark path. I feel helpless to salvage them, let alone join them. Provenance. Something i'm trying too hard to remember. The early days together are as pointless as painting all the grass in the world green right now. The fire is doused, and I don't think it would be ignited again for a long time. I really need a light now, not literally in the vice context, but just some sort of "epiphany", if you may. I can't help but just struggle, I can't just lay here and do nothing. Helping enemies really makes me feel hot under the collar. The vessels in my body strain. I can't help but feel useless. They're drifting away from me, futher and further each day. One day, it's going to be out of my reach and I really will be saddened. Nobody seems to know what feelings are these days any more, and though some of you might not have a clue what i'm really saying, you don't have to. I just gotta' pour it all out. They don't give a damned thing about whatever you feel, it's becoming hopeless to a horrid extent. Argh, tear my heart out. I don't need it any more. In the past we were so close, as we grew you lost direction. Our brotherhood was cherished the most, and that mirror shows a horrid reflection. Can't you see what you've become, nothing more than society's scum. How could you drift away so remotely, when I was there to guide you slowly. The past times we spent together, the impact it had, as light as a feather. Through all and all you have gone, our brotherhood again i'll long. Vice and crime is your hobby, for all I care don't even show me. Don't drag me down with all your shit, your messages, I can't interprete it. I shall not be influenced, and it won't be long. Though life's spiralling down, I shall remain strong.
I'm coming back with a goal and nothing is gonna' stop me.