It's time I rebooted my system starting afresh, http://lastly-dispirited.blogspot.com
Profile daniel ng, 14.10.94 http://www.facebook.com/ngyjd.3 http://baby-drummer23.deviantart.com drums; photography; design; pool; gym. victorian slave; 4C. Band Geek no more. 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Thursday, July 31, 2008 blanked I haven't been "inspired" as of late to actually blog a proper post. Might explain the drop in visitors, but heh, 17,000's a pretty good achievement and I got 2 new advertisements coming soon that will be placed at that top left corner you see there. Have been caught up with a lot of music stuff recently. CCA, performances and just recreational fun for myself. It's been a real long time since I really played the old kit upstairs, hope it doesn't get dirty or anything. I'm so spaced out right now, and during classes my mind's really just a big blank, and that void can never be filled up. Don't know what's gotten in to me recently, all of sudden, i've lost my insight of every promise I have made myself. I guess it truly is "easier said than done". Daydreaming on the long bus rides home, staring blankly upon the gravelled roads, nothing but just endless boredom till it's my stop. Garh, i've already failed 2 out of 3 math tests i've gotten this term, and it ain't exactly a very good sign. I feel so stupified right now, and all the hearsay about how tough life is gonna' get really freaks me out. If this is already hard to handle, how am I to cope with the troubles of the Sec 3 life. Perhaps i'm not trying hard enough to ease it out. I guess I really gotta' try; there ain't no shortcuts on a straight road, and i'll try my best not to "cut corners". Let's all just shirk out responsibilities and take a time out to reflect on how it's been since the beginning of Term 3. Hmm, not so well apparently. What is it with people nowadays, fixing their stares directly, it's just disturbing. If you got something to say, say it straight to my face or whatever, don't just keep talking to your "possy". Had enough of this school, regretting it all the more that I didn't audition for some other school. Or even apply for a transfer. Well, guess it's too late for regret, now so screw that. Tuesday, July 29, 2008 still If ony life was as still as the water, then we could see the reflections. But take a look, the reflections seem to be clearer than the actual objects that reflect the light onto the water. Could this be a deception to our eyes, that even though it seems that we are free of problems and broken off our chains, we still have that blur original image in mind. I guess without problems, life would just be too simple and would seize to exist. It's too complicated to reflect on life now right now, ugh. Too much going on, and i've caught up with school work, but I don't think i'm going to do very well for the CA2 if I carry on at this rate. Lessons are at the lowest of productivity level and I haven't really been paying attention much. And to sidetrack, I got 17 000 visitors now, heh. Argh, studies studies studies, not much else to think about right now. Performances, bleah. School events, bleah. Nothing else matters. It's harder than it sounds, just to study. From the holiday period onwards, I haven't once sat down to actually study about anything, feeling irresponsible now. And yet, so many burdens still hang from my shoulder, little problems that can't be set aside, annoying me to the point of breaking and losing my mind. Monday, July 28, 2008 I guess it's true when they say you really don't know what you have till it's lost. I have fallen victim to carelessness, and yes I have lost my wallet. It's been a long time since I lost my wallet, and I hope that old habit of losing things doesn't come back to haunt me. Damn school pants pockets, sigh, it just had to happen. The only upside that I can think of is that I didn't lose much money. Pretty fortunate for that, but damn, I gotta' make a new ez-link card, and that really sucks. Garh, it's been so theatrical for the past few days. Drama, comedy, you name it and it's there for sure in this routined life of mine. I wish the end-year exams were here already so we could just throw that burden off our shoulders. But I really don't think i'm prepared for it anyway. Already, the "prelims" are about to start and I haven't got a clue about some topics. Memorising is key, but winning is everything. What's the point of going through this cycle anyway. It seems like it's never ending, but I guess, we'll just have to carry on waiting until the cycle changes and more complexities are added in to that string of never ending troubles. Can't bare to start thinking about the future now, I have more things to worry right now. And damn, so many things i've worried about, and I haven't eaten a single thing today. Ughhh. Sunday, July 27, 2008 untitled Heh, using the nokia wi-fine zone on the bus right now and it's astonishingly fast. Completely free and I'm just entering this post out of boredom since I'm on my way to church. Garh, really tired from yesterday, and I had to get up at 7 today cos' my dad has a golf game and can't send me to church. Oh, and this post is being doneon my iPod :D Almost reaching church already but I gotta' decide if I'm gonna' eat breakfast. Got to end that habbit of spending money. Well it's my stop and I officially mark this post with free wi-fi from a bus! Technology is advancing faster than humans do, heh, will we ever catch up? Thursday, July 24, 2008 rise Please vote for my boot! And make it a good vote! Wednesday, July 23, 2008 maestro I'm starting to regret so many decisions i've made nowadays, honeymoon year my ass. Tuesday, July 22, 2008 dissipate There's so much to say, and yet this little black box doesn't confine me to writing an endless life story, but i'd rather not waste all that time just to bore you to death. But yet, I shall try to keep it detailed but short. I've always said, life eventually sneak up from behind you and give you a big bite off your ass. And damn I never knew it could hurt so much. The pain, supposedly speaking is a gentle reminder of the harsh reality in life. But man, this bite's really pain, and I think it's distorting my outlook of this demented twisted world we live in rather than just reminding me of how harsh it truly is. What kind of place is this, I really don't know any more. Aren't we always told, it's not what other people think of you but it's really about your true intentions. TOTAL BULLSHIT. That only seems to be reality portrayed through the media. Ugh, it sucks how just cos' you fit into some stereotype, your immediately classified under some terms. Pisses me off to a huge extent and really causes me so much trouble. People look for trouble while I avoid it, yet I still somehow become a target for a brawl. I hate this. And to add to the "troubles" list for this week, my parents think i'm a problem child. I ain't trying to be one, neither do I want to be one anyway. Like what batman said, heh, it's not what a man has that shapes him, but what he does that defines him. Something like that, all these seize to exist concurrently in our semi-falsified world. Dad, yeah I know you care for me and all, but damn i'm growing up already. To think I would know what's good for me and what's wrong. If I had trouble deciding, heck yeah I would seek you for some help, but right now I really know what i'm doing, so stop worrying about me. Mom, stop pretending to understand my situations cos' there really isn't anything going on with me. Really, there's nothing to care about me. How are you suppose to inculcate moral responsibility in me if you lack some. Sure everybody has their faults, but you don't gotta' keep exploiting them. It hurts when you don't understand but just scold away anyway. But through it all, I know you care about me, but damn it's getting to an extreme extent where it becomes irritating. Yes, I know i've been so complacent at such wrong times, but I have found my faults, I have awoken from this deep slumber of moral scarcity. I've always lived life with the principle of following the current, led your legs do the walking and think about this later. Apparently it's really hard to do, cos' sometimes the current don't flow your way and it ain't a good idea to follow it down. It was nice finally taking such a leisurely stroll down the old path by that reservoir, it was hard coping with all those memories of the past swarming throughout my mind. Too many things to recall, whether they were sweet or horrid, bearing the taste of spinach. I've decided i'm going to take strolls or runs by that reservoir every morning, be it 5am or not, I favour those memories. Too much has happened there, it was like a home by that playground, hanging out with friends from 5pm-7pm everyday till my dad would call me back home and scold me eventually. I still remember that time we climbed in the reservoir when it was empty and played around with the squishy mud, heh. Immaturity has its great benefits too. I've crossed the line, I've gone too far, To know what's mine, my face is marred. No longer is it the same old times, As we struggle through hardships, Our pains are rimed. For such a distorted reality, are lacquered voices in my head, speaking of words that cannot be said. Going through confusion is all too much, But move on to hope for I shall clutch. What shall I write for my own elegy? For death to thyself shall always shine. -Daniel MIA? Perhaps. -Daniel Monday, July 21, 2008 plunge Finding the meaning is looking through the vivid transparencies. Dance the night away because tomorrow we will look back and talk about good times now gone forever. Trace those lines around the image of your choice. She had spoken of things all too impossible for hearts to behold, her beauty beckoning his soul. Ahh, the complexities of human nature start to get a hold on me. My hair is now unnaturally black and short. Guess it was a time for some change. Was it a necessity or was it an option. I guess it wasn't time for change, it was time to change back. Aiy, it's been a shitty day for me. I still don't get what's with the regulations of coloured hair and ear piercings. It fails to make cow sense to me. Ugh, what's this suppose to mean? My mum hasn't been called by a teacher in awhile and I really don't really know what's the reason anyway. Perhaps these are just all signs, or even a wake-up call. Somebody just slap me out of this dazed state and shoot me back to reality. But really, what happened to "don't judge a book by its cover"? Does nobody care about that any more? Everybody now being judged so stereotypically. Oh, I have dyed hair and I have an ear piercing, I MUST BE GANGSTER! Hate how these images are generated and portrayed through our corrupt media. And even after all that trouble from teachers, fellow students have to discommode me. Be it through studies or be it through physical outlook. You are plain dumb you fucking jackass, if you say i'm trying to be a gangster and you want me to have a fight with you, am I not succumbing to your thoughts of what I am? Am I not what you don't want me to be if I do what you want me to? It ain't surprising somebody with your intelligence level wouldn't be able to think of what the hell your saying before you just spurt everything out from that damn mouth of yours. You think just cause you got a tatoo and you smoke, it makes you tough? Wake up little boy, this is real life, not "Freedom Writers" or something. Sigh. Les deseo ante lucha? Traer le. I shall resist the temptation though it hasn't happened in awhile, no fights today. It's been hard trying to apply the (+)(+) concept. If people treat you well (+), of course you would want to treat them back just as well (+). But if people treated you badly, be it a challenge for a fight and what not (-), of course you would want to treat them badly (-) as well. But yes, the (+) rule. If people do treat you nicely (+), treat them twice as well (+,+). And if people treat you like crap (-), treat them as they were your brothers (+,+,+). It's getting too tough. Grow out of that damn immature shell of yours where you constantly hide, and just get out. There are enough troubles for me already, I don't have time for your dumb shit. This ill temper I have is making me mad I blow up and I don’t know why I wish for just a moment I could handle my anger right I wish for just a moment I could love you right I wish my attitude would just go away I wish my anger would stay at bay This outlook I have on life needs to change This outlook I have you needs to say the same I love you deep down inside I wish you would see That you’re the only princess for me The anger I have deep in side Comes out when I least expect it This anger I have in me should just go away This anger I have is an annoyance This anger I have has messed my life up This anger I have is stupid Anger you have messed up my love for you Anger you have messed up my life Anger you have destroyed who I am inside and out Anger you are the devil Anger you are all that is bad This anger I have in me has made me fight A fight that was not worth it Anger you made me hit the wrong person Anger you made me do the wrong things Anger you are the feeling that I would never miss Anger you have caused me so much sorrow Anger you have caused nothing but grief. Anger just go away Fasting status: -skip breakfast -skip lunch Sunday, July 20, 2008 futile Uhh, it's the final hours of the last day of the week that never fails to irk me. Life seems like it's a routine, each day is about the same thing, going to school, extra CCAs or tuitions, then back home to either sleep, do work, or just turn on the computer and stare blankly at the screen. It's as if we were robots, programmed to live our lives like that. What makes this week different from any other? It's those little details during the days that happen and some memories that can never be forgotten. That makes the difference. I'm really tired, and I don't know why. Perhaps it's due to the constant hours of band practice failing to give me any chance for a break. It deters me from even trying to do my work, and I usually don't at all. Aiy, everybody's giving me so many problems right now and it's really starting to be a drag. I really have not much to talk about now, and yeah, for all those people who are going through those tides and seperations now, wish you all the best for getting through them. Saturday, July 19, 2008 ends At last, the t-shirts have been made, and that one thing striked off my schedule. By the way, if you don't know what my jersey name is then just tilt your head 180 degrees and see for yourself. And I managed to make custom brushes out of my doodles, heh. Well the picture with the trees was taken with my phone, amazing what photoshop can do, heh. Friday, July 18, 2008 broken That much tension, and the string snaps. It can give you jubilee for that much time, but eventually the clock will spoil. Sorrows flood. Wednesday, July 16, 2008 plight Argh, it seems so many friends nowadays, having so many problems, dwelling in a state of plight. Sure everybody encounters problems every once is awhile to remind you of reality and its harshness, but what really is the way to relieve you of all your conundrums. Each individual, will have their own unique way of dealing with such situations, some are more effective, while others just make the situation worse. Which I don't think is a very good idea I guess, heh, I wonder why? Such many problems love can cause, but at this unripe age, its hard for things to last, although it all seems to work out so well once it starts off. What is the point of love anyway? Oxford describes it as "an intense feeling of deep affection". But surely, there's more to that than just six words of such. Does it really help us in life? I guess not, in fact it causes more problems to be frank. So what is it that keeps this love going on, since it adds on to our troubles and increases our burdens, why on earth do we still give in to this strange emotion that entices all of our five senses, or six, whatever. Even by psychologic terms, it's known as "a cognitive phenomenon with a social cause". *Jaw drops o.O?* Yeah, its a question that will keep mankind in utter suspense, till the answer is found. Surely one would say, love brings you happiness of course. So does that make love happiness? Or is happiness just one "sub-title" underneath that big heading "LOVE". One can never find out really. But through it all, love is just another one of those bricks in that big bag we're carrying on our journey to lead our lives. That bag we carry each day, occasionally gets heavier, with more bricks being added on. But with true determination, can one really reach back and throw a few bricks of that load? Argh, the young days now, will be treasure forever in the future. Listening to all the hooha on the media nowadays about such great leaders passing on, it reminds us about how fragile our life is. How easy we could end our lives, as brittle as wet paper. Completely random thoughts are simply racing about in my mind, take a look at the sudden change of points in this post. From daily problems, to love, to life burdens, and brittle life. Somehow, they all seem linked though i'm just typing it all out from what's on my mind. Sigh, bummer. Tuesday, July 15, 2008 alcohol Damn, ethnic alcohol can do some serious shit to you, just by taking a "few" whiffs of it. Haven't gone on an all-time high in awhile, heh, coffee makes it all better, but still, everything has a side-effect. Classes as boring as usual, schedule as busy as usual, but my I keep feeling like my body is physically there in reality, but on a mental and spiritual state, i've totally vanished. It tends to be such a strange sub-conscious state, leaving me in ecstasy. Ahh, no matter how hard you try, it's impossible for somebody not to be arrogant. Arrogance, by oxford terms, refers to the exaggerated sense of one's own importance. But there's much more to know about it other than it's horrible harms. There's no doubt, that nobody can avoid letting arrogance take over oneself once in awhile, but it's rather a matter of how it controls you, or what it does to you. Is it possible to utilise it for one's gain, if it truly is possible, than not many people are good at doing that. It's really hard to believe how much effort some people put in just to see their hardwork crumble before their eyes. Picture this, it's been a month's work, with hours spent everyday building a simple tree house for leisure. Through it all, you know the last nail in place, and the house is done. But once you get in, the whole structure collapses. Surely, not many would have the patience to resist letting anger take over them. But the true emotion that really is deep inside, is the sorrow, for all the hardwork, our effort has gone to an utter waste. Just replace "yourself" in the story with your parents, and replace the "treehouse" with yourself. Surely you being that treehouse, wouldn't want to collapse? And of course the biggest part is about the builders, and their level of craftsmanship. No matter what, their main goal is to build that tree house, so they can indulge in its privileges. Enjoy the fruit of your labour for it shall not last forever, and eventually it will collapse in to oblivion, unlike God's love which is never ending and forever strong. Monday, July 14, 2008 iniquity Past memories, gushing through the creeks of these vast vallies in my mind. Ahh, the good old days are as good as ecstasy to me (not like I know how it feels or anything). If I were to compare the past of all the days in primary school, to the present day secondary school life, the difference, it would be bombastic. Some changes, for the better, some changes for the worse. If somebody were to ask me if majority of the change was for the better or the worst, I honestly wouldn't be able to give you a straight answer. The massive amount of things that have changed, just too many for my brain to compile and sort out the differences. Thumbs up or down? I really haven't got a clue. But one thing's for sure, those brothers who stuck with me since the humble days of the primary school era, their still my brothers for life. But man, it's damn hard to see that change in them. Some of them remain the same old primary school boys I used to know, but some just changed their whole outfit. The old main character traits might still be there, but values hav turned them upside down. I now realise, life cannot be lived as it is. Predicaments are bound to happen one day or another, and on that day, what are you going to do, realise you have no plans whatsoever. Hell yeah, blueprints are nessacary for constructing a building, but its the materials that are the key. A simple man who just needs a basic hut doesn't need blueprints, what he really needs are the rocks, wood and leaves that are used to build the hut. If one has forgotten his moral values, how is he to regain them if he already doesn't give a damn about it. Yes I care for my "brothers" for they are surely one of a kind, but I need them back. The primary school brothers. Sunday, July 13, 2008 renaissance Having a pool table, without any pockets. On what basis is that similar to living your life without an open heart? It almost reaches the extent of being completely pointless. If one's heart were to be locked, not allowing anybody to reach out to you, even your own kin, would that life be condemned? It's really scary watching time take its path, slowly changing people's lives, whether for the good, or bad. Once, a brother in life, so close by my side, sharing such strange jubilant times together. But now, time has taken its toll on you. You have become nothing but a shadow with a locked heart, the key thrown to the farthest ends of the universe. Dwelling in such malovent things, you are nothing but a libertine. It's hard to see what you've become over such a long period of time. How am I reach to you? In what way would I have to speak to you in order to get some morals in to that thick skull of yours. But even as I try to help you back onto the right path, i'm afraid of drifting on to your path in the midst of it all. Drugs, fights, smokes, all these I try to stay away from. How much longer will it hold? This is what really brings truth to the quote, "actions speak louder than words". And oh, it's so much easier said than done. Ain't it always? Here comes in the battle of will. Will for the other party to change? And the will for this party to help change the other party, but what if the other party ends up changing you instead. Who has the courage to stand up for it, the stress and pressure is killing me. It's tough. To lose friendship is one thing, but rivalries to emerge, that is another. How is it you can hate people for trying to help? Would it require maturity for one to admit his or her wrong doings? Course it would. Salvage! Saturday, July 12, 2008 life Wow, they say time flies when your having fun. Well, not only does it fly when your having fun, I guess it really flies when your not taking note of it. The qsychological tricks it can work on your mind, freaky. Stare at the time for awhile, see how fast it passes. Then just try go surf the net and talk to a few friends or something. I guarantee it'll feel like the same amount of time, but in reality, the difference is pretty noticeable. Wow, it'll be 11 more years till i'll be in my sisters side. And damn, 11 years is gonna' be a heck of a long time. Damn, how it is, it shall be. Do some people really have the right heart for change? It's just a simple reminder for us to review our motives of change. Ugh, the arroganct prescence in the air, making to so damn musty. It's gets harder and harder to see through one's true intentions when they speak with such a tone. With experience, you come to know the specific voice that comes out when a lie is uttered through one's teeth. The chatter, the blinking, the eye-contact. Hmm, if one were to do the right thing for the wrong reasons or vice versa, would either of them balance out the equation of sin? It gets complicated man. The thing about passion is so hard to understand. What if we wanted to give up our lives to the Lord for all the wrong reasons, like proving a point to other people that you would do it, just for the sake of doing it, never even considering the thought of Christ's love given unto you. It's a sad but true fact in this dying world. Some people, just not exposed to the right things. Mission trips, no matter how many there are, there would still be those bunch of Africans and what not that would love to know God, but wouldn't be given the right opportunity. Lives, like a vaccum, the only thing inside it would be a void. Just a big heart of complete nothingness. What good would it do, how do you help. Your not judged by the amount of money you earn, or your intellectual capacity, but you're judged on how other people's lives are benifitted due to your aid and assistance. Life, so brittle. Thursday, July 10, 2008 defficiency What a man thinks in his heart, so is he. For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Aiy, it sure is a tough world to live by. Once the soul of a man has been sold, what good is it? What profit does a man gain if he has alreay lost himself in the process of it. Gah, it's hard to keep commitments. And over the past 10 days, there have been so many temptations in the period of fasting. C'mon 30 days more to go. Really have not much to say about today though, really tired. Wednesday, July 9, 2008 miffed Argh, some people, it's just their life hobby to be annoying. Don't pick fights out the blue just cos' their better than you. I really don't know if some people really understand the value of their lives. Cherish what you don't have, for it shall be a reminder for you that you aren't the best in whatsoever component. It's a bad day for life today, sigh, I really don't need to see your damned face tomorrow. I'm begging you not to provoke me. Again, trouble caused just by the insolence of some, judging others from their physical outlook. Am I just portrayed as a bad guy or something, even teachers don't like me for some damn reason. Does how a person looks on the outside really affect his studies? Governing in this municipal island we call Singaopore; FAILURE. It's hard to buy time here. Would the grass on the other side really be greener. Under the this "free-running" government policy, it feels like we're just ants in some sick, twisted and demented person's ant farm. It's sad. Well despite the massive amount of effort put in by the B-Div soccer team, we still failed to overcome the Sport's school. Hmm, I wonder why. Perhaps it's the cause of constant physical training introduced into their curriculum. Perhaps? Well, hope we still get a half-day though, heh that would be so awesome to get away from school life for a day. Get me out of there. Tuesday, July 8, 2008 sterotypes What is with people and the colour of hair, piercings and just the typical physical appearance. It's really starting to bug me about how people judge others only based on their damn physical outlook. Whatever has happened to the oh so renowned quote, "Don't judge a book by its cover"? It's at this point of time where people's eyes are really put to the test, to see through one's true intentions in the heart but not by the outlook, do you pass? Argh. Well the questions about being rejected or accepted have come to an end now. I'm proud to announce that I have officially been rejected for the VIP. Yeah, doesn't really disappoint me that much. With my academic level at this calibre, I don't think it's enough to handle and cope with the pressure of special programmes which DEMANDs high academics. Maybe its better for me not to go, since i'm already having problems coping with the expectations of this school, along with CCA commitments and yet, so many irrelevant things are being hung on to our schedule, and like I said, that tension is getting too high, and I tell you, it's gonna' snap sooner or later. Heh, whether it was for the good or bad, I think i'm pretty happy that I managed to get thus far into the interview round. The final process of judgement, but I guess after they took a look-see at my report card their irises just widened. I never usually get past the first round of these kinda' programmes, but this time round, I reached the finals. Heh, some people ever so determined to get into this programme, already put to dissapointment in round one of the GAT tests. Well, so here it is, i'm now back to the conventional method of studying, and i'm pretty much still okay with that except the case about my school, but yeah, besides that, life goes on as per normal. Argh, really, i'm biting off more than I can chew. Busy busy busy. STRESS! Monday, July 7, 2008 irksome Gah, my schedule's getting busier and busier by the second. It's just too much bullshit to handle about the amount of time spent, even possibly wasted there. I'm just being caught up with too much stuff nowadays, it's really becoming to intense to handle, and i've got to get out of the kitchen. Reading on about how horrible my brother's life in the army is, I start to pity him for his injury causing him that many problems. A simple tear at the ligament or something like that could cause so much damage in one's life. Thinking back, I remember the time last year where in a split-second, my eye was smashed by the impact of a mere floorball stick. An agonal period that was, with just two weeks from the final-year exams at that time, it was just too hard to study with one-eye vision. Yes, that red stuff on my pants is blood. I didn't get to take a picture of my shirt though, it was thrown away. Sigh, it's getting too rough. The tension is building up and soon that very line that holds my life together is going to snap. Garh, God direct me on the right path. PS: Please get as many people to view this blog as possible from 10 August - 16 August in order for me to make a little cash, I need you to click the ad at the top left corner. But not now though. 10 August - 16 August! Saturday, July 5, 2008 output Ahh! Have to prepare something to say about the significance of my shirt design tomorrow, and I really haven't got much of a clue. Gah, hope I get a nice prize, heh. Realising your true gifts and talents can be a real hard task to accomplish. Though you will never run out of your gifts, you will have to sustain them and utilise them to its maximum value. It's tough, and some people don't even find out what their maximum potential is anyway. Guess you'll just have to continue searching and wait for till you find the euphoria of success. And by today's lesson, some times your gifts need time to develop and they don't come that easily. Chewing gum sure can help abstain you from eating any other stuff, heh how random. Sigh, some people are truly unaware of their character flaws and still, flaunt them as if it were a given benefit. Ugh, hate, such a strong emotion that always manages to piss me off. Time is such a constraint for so many things. Constricting so many routes, leaving us with just several paths to walk on. Time has its limits, and time even passes as I type this post, word by word. Ugh, how we misuse it really sucks. Getting ready for so many things. Friday, July 4, 2008 options 1. 2. Would you rather have shirt number 1 or number 2? I need votes please. pride Argh, there's really too much to say for myself when i'm pissed off. Arrogance accomplimented by the stench of authority dousing one's body can cause real severe attitude issues with some people. Again with the showing off here and there, it's really starting to annoy me, in fact, it always has. Really, trying to act fierce when you really haven't got a clue what your talking about? The "coarse" language isn't even nessacary either, all you do is make yourself look even stupider in my eyes. And then comes the topic on "insolence". Some people must have been born with every inch of their bodies repleted with such a character trait. Ugh, some people aren't as what you see them as. G.F.Y is all I can say. Sure first impressions are important, but you can't just leave a good first impression and completely screw up every other impressions that people see. You are just pinches of salt trying your best to blend in with the mass amounts of sugar. Well, your taste is soon going to be realised. Sigh, do you ever watch the cartoons when a character or something falls of a cliff and has a elongated period of hang time before he really falls down? Just to add to the comical value. Well, my life's pretty much lacking that hang time, if my life were a cartoon, i'd just fall of the cliff without any hang time whatsoever. Plunge down, no questions asked, i'm dead. It's hard to bring back even a mere second of that hang time though I still try so hard. Argh, school's been a drag. Screw that, is band suppose to be my life career and am I suppose to marry it or something? Damn G.F.Y to you to, damn that long periods, i'm sick of it. Honey moon year can just go kiss my ass. It ain't that easy. Thursday, July 3, 2008 vertiginous I don't think many of you know how I really look like since I usually edit the picturs of myself anyway. As we continue spending each second our lives here in this humble municipal city we call singapore, are we really going to be offered great oppurtunities in the future. But come to think about it, who really cares anyway, live life as it is and hope everything goes smoothly. Come thinking about our lives, so few people here really start to map out each and every nook and cranny of their "perfect" lives. Sad to say none of them actually work out very well. Ah, as we slowly progress in our lives, watch out for the vertiginous holes in between those giant leaps of faith. Uhh, going through so many frustrating things today. Really starting to get steamed out. Though i've improved in several aspects of my life, there are still some aspects that refuse to rise, but instead, would rather take a plunge down to the depths of the dead sea. Ugh, impediment. Wednesday, July 2, 2008 abstonence Have been trying to abstain from these keys. Literally. The rubber keys are really starting to annoy me. I guess it'll have to do for now until I figure out some way to get my old keyboard back. These few days have been pretty hectic as we start to dwell further and further in this new month of july and the exam periods start to inch their ways closer and closer as the sun fails to stay up in the sky. It's been rather frustrating not being able to post for the past few days as I had to much to say during that time. But all that so-called "inspiration" has seemingly vanished. How ironic it is that when you have so much to say, you just can't. But when you finally get to say it, your left speechless, or in my case "finger-stoned". As I try to leave as little mistakes using this measely excuse for a keyboard, I fail to replenish my mind with what I have promised myself. In this 40-day tasks, temptations are seemingly stronger and the urge to break the fast grows and grows. Self-control is a discipline yet to be mastered by myself. Let alone many other human morals that lack in my "social EQ". But through all and all, it's immaturity that gets the upper hand ultimately. Stay strong.
I'm coming back with a goal and nothing is gonna' stop me.