It's time I rebooted my system starting afresh, http://lastly-dispirited.blogspot.com
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008 dissipate There's so much to say, and yet this little black box doesn't confine me to writing an endless life story, but i'd rather not waste all that time just to bore you to death. But yet, I shall try to keep it detailed but short. I've always said, life eventually sneak up from behind you and give you a big bite off your ass. And damn I never knew it could hurt so much. The pain, supposedly speaking is a gentle reminder of the harsh reality in life. But man, this bite's really pain, and I think it's distorting my outlook of this demented twisted world we live in rather than just reminding me of how harsh it truly is. What kind of place is this, I really don't know any more. Aren't we always told, it's not what other people think of you but it's really about your true intentions. TOTAL BULLSHIT. That only seems to be reality portrayed through the media. Ugh, it sucks how just cos' you fit into some stereotype, your immediately classified under some terms. Pisses me off to a huge extent and really causes me so much trouble. People look for trouble while I avoid it, yet I still somehow become a target for a brawl. I hate this. And to add to the "troubles" list for this week, my parents think i'm a problem child. I ain't trying to be one, neither do I want to be one anyway. Like what batman said, heh, it's not what a man has that shapes him, but what he does that defines him. Something like that, all these seize to exist concurrently in our semi-falsified world. Dad, yeah I know you care for me and all, but damn i'm growing up already. To think I would know what's good for me and what's wrong. If I had trouble deciding, heck yeah I would seek you for some help, but right now I really know what i'm doing, so stop worrying about me. Mom, stop pretending to understand my situations cos' there really isn't anything going on with me. Really, there's nothing to care about me. How are you suppose to inculcate moral responsibility in me if you lack some. Sure everybody has their faults, but you don't gotta' keep exploiting them. It hurts when you don't understand but just scold away anyway. But through it all, I know you care about me, but damn it's getting to an extreme extent where it becomes irritating. Yes, I know i've been so complacent at such wrong times, but I have found my faults, I have awoken from this deep slumber of moral scarcity. I've always lived life with the principle of following the current, led your legs do the walking and think about this later. Apparently it's really hard to do, cos' sometimes the current don't flow your way and it ain't a good idea to follow it down. It was nice finally taking such a leisurely stroll down the old path by that reservoir, it was hard coping with all those memories of the past swarming throughout my mind. Too many things to recall, whether they were sweet or horrid, bearing the taste of spinach. I've decided i'm going to take strolls or runs by that reservoir every morning, be it 5am or not, I favour those memories. Too much has happened there, it was like a home by that playground, hanging out with friends from 5pm-7pm everyday till my dad would call me back home and scold me eventually. I still remember that time we climbed in the reservoir when it was empty and played around with the squishy mud, heh. Immaturity has its great benefits too. I've crossed the line, I've gone too far, To know what's mine, my face is marred. No longer is it the same old times, As we struggle through hardships, Our pains are rimed. For such a distorted reality, are lacquered voices in my head, speaking of words that cannot be said. Going through confusion is all too much, But move on to hope for I shall clutch. What shall I write for my own elegy? For death to thyself shall always shine. -Daniel MIA? Perhaps. -Daniel
I'm coming back with a goal and nothing is gonna' stop me.