It's time I rebooted my system starting afresh, http://lastly-dispirited.blogspot.com
Profile daniel ng, 14.10.94 http://www.facebook.com/ngyjd.3 http://baby-drummer23.deviantart.com drums; photography; design; pool; gym. victorian slave; 4C. Band Geek no more. 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Thursday, April 30, 2009 Woozy Agh, the painkillers have been consumed but the headache stubbornly refuses to be subdued. Ugh, it's a throbbing wild jungle-styled beat wavering through the back of my head. It's like an electrifying feeling, not in a good way though. SA It's a period of do or die, it's the final stride, it's that last 1m of the 100km you've been running. Just give everything you've got and hope for the best. Dang, I still got my uncompleted Videography assignment. I certainly do have my honest doubts about scoring an "A" for art this term. It's time to be assertive about every little step from here on end. Sunday, April 26, 2009 :( Down here in this land where the rain don't pour and the Sun don't shine, it brutally toys and tweaks with my mind in order to set my mood according to the weather around. It's erratic as the waves crashing on the shore. And finally I'm sucked in, and all hope is lost. It's a swing of moods, otherwise known as a moodswing. No I'm not pissed with anybody. It often slips my mind why I even bother to TRY and study in the first place. What's the point if I'm not trusted in the first place? It's topsy turvy town in my mind, it's hard to understand why I even try so hard anyway. Is this all just a waste of time? I'm still in the process of grasping the main ideation as of why we're here in the first place. Oh sure give me all the typical answers, but damn it, I need something new to live by. It's not worth it to me, living each day pointlessly and wrecklessly, many a time being associated as a "gone-case" or a "bad kid". It's stupid how people can not understand you and still place you under thier biased judgement. Has the whole world forgotten the frequently used phrase we all know and love, "don't judge a book by its cover"? This is bullshit over here, that's what it is. Ah well, what other choice do I have but continue living in this hell-hole? (: Pure pen ink. Near completion. I leave you to decide how you'd like to interprete it. But to me, it has many meanings... Ciao. Saturday, April 25, 2009 Belief Man, what's a guy gotta do nowadays just to have the trust of his very own mother to go to church. If I tell you I'm studying that means I'm studying, how is that so difficult to believe?! Heh, I went to the library for the first time in AGES today. When I went to check my account, the address was that of my previous house in tampines which was about 12 years ago, haha. Oh well at least I managed to get a hold of some photography books. Long day out today, don't expect myself to have many more of these in the next couple of weeks. Sigh, SA1 how do you? One more week, just one. Oh well I'll think of it as 3 more weeks to it bring over, till then. Friday, April 24, 2009 josh A letter addressed to my dearest friend whom I have know for 9 years; It's been a long long time since we first met eh? So many things have changed especially ourselves. But through it all, we ultimately have to realise how to differentiate what's right and what's wrong. Sure, me "partaking" in the same activity as you may seem wrong but you gotta' understand that I don't want you harming your well-being. Not only is it bad for your health, it screws up plenty of other things in your life too. Remember the words that flooded out of your mouth the minute you came to know about my bad habit? What's stopping me from saying the same to you now? You have to understand the consequences of this, it's not a light matter. You ought to watch yourself and everybody around you. You'll never know who's gonna' be that two-faced bastard who'll screw you up. It's the ninth year I've known you, it's been a heck of a journey. But if you don't stick to your words, it'll be a hell of a roller coaster. Once again I say, do not get hooked, do not be influenced, and do not do it for the sake of doing it. I'm completely fine with it if it's done on an occasional basis, but if it continues to develop in to an addiction, that's when you know you gotta' do something about it. I have your utmost weal at heart. Don't let me down, not after all these years. I trust you to know what to do and I trust that you'll take good care of yourself. You're probably tired of this old friend's ranting so I shall come to an end here. Don't keep disquieting the people who care about you, especially your parents. Their the last ones who want to find out. You might have problems and issues with them, but think about it. They're YOUR parents. Love Daniel ;) Tuesday, April 21, 2009 Optimism I can now see... Thanks to my new spectacles that make me oh so dorky looking heh, oh well. 2 weeks till the mid-years, DAMN! Monday, April 20, 2009 SCREAM I just can't stand all the shouting going on in the house, it's driving me nuts. Everybody seems like they're losing their patience. Oh well, what can I do about it? Heh, just found this while flipping through my pictures, how cheesy ;D Sunday, April 19, 2009 absence Well, it's been while and I never thought so many things could change over the short period of a week. Not only changes that take place in myself, but changes in everyone else around me. Seeing the second sided face of people you once held dear to yourself actually hurts, literally. You know who you are, or maybe you don't. Search deeper and look inside the remnants of your conscience and what's left of it. It's like a whole new you I've never seen before. It's like you were probed by some outer space terrestrials and the replaced your brain with a peanut. You aren't the person I first thought you were. Enough of the ranting though, I've had too much of the bullshit from you and your "gang". I'm terrified. Oh well, that's that. I won't be updating much from now on. My schedule's all clogged up with mid-term exam muggging. If I've already lost all your trust, how can I misuse any of it. I don't see much point of carrying on like that any more. It's a whirlpool of madness that's what it is... Monday, April 13, 2009 M.I.A Sunday, April 12, 2009 siblingship I just realised I sound extremely similar to my brother, especially the way we sneeze. Strange how I never realised although countless people, including my parents, continue to mistake me for him. I gotta' start coming back early from school nowadays, it's not doing me any good that I only reach home at 6 to 7 plus everyday unnecessarily. Oh and to sidetrack, I'm actually doing some sorta' work now, heh. Yeah I'm proud of myself. Not to forget that once again, i'm 7 days free from the death stick and the counter hasn't been restarted just yet. After midnight tonight, it'll be 8, my all time highscore, woo! I have a hunch i'm gonnna' lose this highscore at maybe, 15? We'll see. I'll keep you updated, but till then, ciao. Saturday, April 11, 2009 TTT Dang, another whole day out. Pretty much just wasted the day just lazing around doing nothing. Only thing productive was perhaps, tuition? First time I've been there in about 6 weeks? Though I have to say, table tennis with Jun was fun, heh, though I'm still noob T_T Oh well, I feel like I've done something to piss off public transport or something. It seems like wherever I want to go, public transport just doesn't wanna' cooperate with me. Buses seem to plan their timings so nicely such that they arrive just 30 seconds before I reach the bus stop, which is when I'm probably opposite the road waiting at the damn traffic light to flash that green man. Some times I make it, some times I don't. I especially hate the times when you make the effort to run to the next bus stop to try and catch it but it just doesn't work all the time I guess. Ticks me off a lot to see the buses just zooming off like it never gave a damn. Even in taxis, the drivers just refuse to step on the freaking pedal. It was stop, go, stop, go throughout the whole journey. I felt like I was on a constipated road. Up, down, up, down. Friday, April 10, 2009 TGIGF Phew, I'm bushed. Just got back from church about 15 minutes ago. Spent the whole day wandering around playing table tennis, pool or music. Heh, I pretty much died at the end of the day. Sigh school's tomorrow at 8am. I should probably get some early rest today to be able to wake up tomorrow morning like I have been failing to for the past few weeks, what an unfaithful senior I am, haha. Oh well, it'll be a long day tomorrow. Gotta' start finishing my homework, HAHA. Tuesday, April 7, 2009 gold "Band no. 125... Victoria School... GOLD." The way that announcer slurs his speech, forces your heart to skip a beat. He first starts from band no. 116, and before you know it, it's your turn. Though it would've delighted me much more to hear "with honours" at the back of that results, I'm still rather satisfied with what we have attained. The adrenalin rush after the whole "competition" was driving me nuts. I had no mood whatsoever to return back to class. Ahh... at last, the taste of gold after months of hard effort and preparation. What a sweet savoury sensation it is. Well, even though SYF is over, I doubt we will be able to slacken for long. Up next, Musical World XXIII. Yup, big project that is. Hoping for a slot for a percussion ensemble again. Possibly Xylophonia? :D Full speed ahead for MW XXIII then, let's go. BTW IF YOU HAVE THE TIME, CLICK HERE AND VOTE FOR MY SHIRT! :D Thanks for the support. Actual design is that fist you see below. Monday, April 6, 2009 shakespeare Love is a smoke made with the fume of signs; Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes; Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, A choking fall, and a preserving sweet. Sunday, April 5, 2009 look Lest judgement should be based on wrong conclusion, Distinguish right from vain and carnal pleading; The world is rife with error and confusion; Rely alone on God the Sprit's leading. Saturday, April 4, 2009 resistance Dear Daniel, As I thought about what had happened to you, I felt very sad that you've been hooked to the stick without our knowing. That just goes to show how much I've neglected my children and taken for granted that things are always well at home. I know you're trying and I'm not accusing you of anything but I cannot understand how things can turn that awry. I promise that I'll spend more time with you and if you've any problems that you don't know who to turn to, your mother is always at hand. I hope that you don't take me as your mum as such, an authority. I want very much to be your friend. Maybe you think that you don't want such an old friend or that I wouldn't make a good friend as I don't understand as well. I hope to be part of this battle with you to help you overcome this. It is not so much the stick that is important but - Discipline - Knowing that something is bad for your health (in a very long run). You'll not feel the effect until you're old in your 60s. Just like my dad had succumbed to bad lungs when he was weak and died. Believe it or not, I used to be his passive smoker and actually didn't mind at all until he died of pneumonia. Then I realised how badly the cigarettes had harmed his health. It's never too late for you. Being able to overcome this will be one of the greatest lessons you'll learn in life. I hope you'll do this for mummy; if I mean anything to you at all. I've felt that as you have grown up, you've distanced yourself from mum. Sometimes I really felt sad and lonely that my children would one day leave me all alone. I hope to see you get out of this and I will pray for you. Love you always. I affirm myself, this shall all come to an end. I need a little time to sort things out, but I hope everything's gonna' turn out fine. Hope and belief and 2 seperate meanings, perhaps I've yet to understand with this measely dull little mind of mine. This shall result in buoyancy now! For I foresee a greater future that has yet to be lived out. That leaden night on which He was betrayed, The One by whom the universe was made Reclined with friends took bread and stretched a hand Of love to him who His demise had planned. Friday, April 3, 2009 23k Hmm, could you see this as some sorta' T-shirt design? Lord, help me stop complaining When things don't go my way; Instead, give me a thankful heart For all you do each day. Respect is needed in many areas. Sorry for the slackish posts recently, I'm not exactly up to the challenge of writing a full fledged blog post for anything nowadays. Thursday, April 2, 2009 daily Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine! O what a foretaste of glory divine! Heir of salvation, purchase of God, Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood. Wednesday, April 1, 2009 finalised I guess I'm more or less done.
I'm coming back with a goal and nothing is gonna' stop me.