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It's time I rebooted my system
starting afresh, http://lastly-dispirited.blogspot.com
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daniel ng, 14.10.94http://www.facebook.com/ngyjd.3 http://baby-drummer23.deviantart.com drums; photography; design; pool; gym. victorian slave; 4C. Band Geek no more. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
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Monday, May 25, 2009
sunken Hmm, it's been pretty long since I last updated this old chore of mine. I'm really too lazy to post much at all considering how unfortunate I was to have my brother turn off the wi-fi about 15 seconds before I publish that long post. Well, results are out and: EL: 66.2 - B3 (3rd in class, 2nd is 66.3 HAH) CL: 54.3 - C6 EM: 64.1 - B4 AM: 63.1 - B4 Chem: 59.6 - C5 Physics: 56.8 - C5 Combined H: 44.2 - E8 (Whoops!) Art: 78.4 - A1 L1R5: 25 Heh, I'd rather save my class the shame and not type out the class MSG's for several subjects. Some range from 5.9 to an all time low of 7.7, rather "impressive". Hmm, I don't exactly feel that 25 is too shabby I guess, I really thought I'd do worse, perhaps it's time I started paying attention in the humanities department. A rather significant improvement in my sciences though, I actually passed the paper despite a wide majority of the class failing it, was pretty shocked. Hmm, couldn't say much for A-math though, got 50/100 for the paper, could've done better? I do doubt so. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention something, my class did faired so poorly in this terms exams that our principal actually had to be accompanied by our OM (Operations Manager) to come to our class to give a lecture about our measely performance. Perhaps we all just deserve a tight slap on our cheeks, maybe that'd be a wonderful wake-up call. June hols don't exactly sound like holidays at all. Band and remedials would have to take up at least half of my time, aiy it's going to be quite miserable. Oh well, maybe I'll get started on my holiday homework soon since I'm pretty free nowadays. Except when I have band practices -.-. I enjoy playing the drum set cos' of the free space I get. I never knew 5 pieces of sheet music could confine me to such an uncomfortable zone. Hmm, Brodayway... PS: Buy my concert tickets for $10! It's on June 12, 7.30p.m. at Victoria Concert Hall, tickets are selling fast ;D Monday, May 18, 2009
acceleration It's be cool to experience free-fall. But I always wondered what it'd be like to experience it forever. Art today was pretty damn awesome. Sunday, May 17, 2009
fool  I clothe myself in black for I mourn the death of my love. The saying goes, "once bitten, twice shy." I've been bitten far too many times and yet, I've yet to turn more shy. Perhaps the bites need to be made with razor sharp teeth made of reinforced steel and maybe chomp off a few bits of my fingers. Apparently that'd be the only way to knock some sense in to my head to awaken my slumbering self. Reflect, reflect, reflect... This stubborn little boy needs to grow up and open his eyes to the things that are within an arms length around him. He needs to come to a sudden realisation that this world doesn't revolve around him, but it just so happens that it's rather the other way around. I may stumble, I may stumble again, and yet I wouldn't learn any lesson. Perhaps my pain tolerance ought to be lowered in order to give me some breathing space. A woman once said, “What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.” -Eleanor Powell. If I were to be placed in a giant box and wrapped with the most sparkly and glittery wrapping paper you could find, and that box were to be tied with a giant bow, the ribbon would be of the finest material. With a colour so bright and fantastic that it'd hurt when you merely glanced at it. I guess I would still make a pretty damn sucky gift to God. But who am I to say what God would fancy. You never know if God might like young rebellious boys that cause so many problems for their loving parents by destroying their health. Hmm, come to think of it, I doubt the "Big-Man" will like that. If I were to draw out my life right now. The only style I'd be able to draw it in would purely be in the form of contoured twisted lines with uneven strokes. It's be an upward spiral, a downward spiral, a roller coaster throughout, lines would fill every corner of the paper, living no blind spots. An entire mess is what it would be. If only I could take that drawing, pull out the entire line from it, and pull the two opposing ends of that one line to straighten it out. Maybe then, would I be able to see the beauty of that single line. Somebody succour me in the task of pulling that line out of that piece of paper. PS: Mom, Dad, I know you're probably reading this. I realise I gotta' straighten things out and pull myself together, I'm sorry. Love you. Saturday, May 16, 2009
kin  It's the only thing I'm able to love. Such an innocent mind. If I'm not able to trust who I ought to trust, then to whom shall my trust belong to? Should I believe that all this is mere misunderstanding and allow it to face my ignorant side? Shall I lay the matter to rest and act as if I hadn't known a single fact? All these methods of escaping the horrible truth that I might be losing something so precious and dear to me is heartbreaking. Who am I to pose these accusations? Of this person's origins I am unaware of, but one thing shall be certain, I do not like that person. How am I to take the first step in solving this problem when I dare not even question your authority. I do not know how to go around the rules. I am destituted of nothing but truth or understanding. Thursday, May 14, 2009
M&M I just can't seem to get out this slump If I could just get over this hump But I need something to pull me out this dump I took my bruises took my lumps Fell down and i got right back up But I need that spark to get psyched back up. In my shoes, just to see What its like, to be me I'll be you, lets trade shoes Just to see what I'd be like To feel your pain, you feel mine Go inside each others minds Just to see what we'd find Look at shit through each others eyes It don't matter saying you ain't beautiful Monday, May 11, 2009
Blown I can't keep having so many thoughts racing throughout my mind any longer, I will blow my top sooner or later. I need to maintain some stability in this mind of mine, it's radiating too many thoughts around me. If only I could take a revolver and shoot em down one by one and simply destroy them, wouldn't that be nice? It's almost impossible to keep any focus now for me and I don't exactly get what's wrong either. I know... I shall go invisible, bye. skull  Heh. Sunday, May 10, 2009
potential 97 words It's the max I can reach. Daniel has the potential to do better, pay more attention in class, blah blah blah... It's always the same things over and over again. It's funny how the teachers actually have sheets of papers that have pre-made comments for the students so they don't have to actually write their own comments. Damn, I can't wait for the week to begin. I can't keep my focus on for much longer. Ugh, heads will turn and bodies will roll. I just need to talk. Not just to anybody, but to... Saturday, May 9, 2009
Fantasy I wanna' go to sleep, have a nice pleasant dream and never wake up again so I wouldn't realise it wasn't real. Self-deception is a real pity, at least for me it is. Well, while sitting outside church waiting for my dad to pick me up after worship practice just now, a bunch of inconsiderate, probably underage Malay smokers blew fresh puffs of second hand smoke directly into my face. It was like they wanted to mock me, sending me into some sort of 5-second relapse. Argh, the temptation still lingers once in awhile, timidly hiding in that one very dark corner of my mind just waiting for the opportune moment to spring out into action when I'm weak. Stay strong and have faith is all I can tell myself at these points of times. Well at least my day wasn't so horrible cos of some people whose faces brighten up my day. Though I have to say, I need to wake up. It's just not going to happen. Thursday, May 7, 2009
distance I can feel freedom in the wind brushing against my whole body, just bouncing off. It's mocking me, so close but yet so far. I'm more or less halfway there, I can see the finish line already. Ugh, Videography is not a very simple art form to express your emotions. Neither is it very easy to do. Unlike drawing where you can just bring a pencil and a paper wherever you see fit, you gotta' bring your video camera everywhere you go, and yet the editing has to be done too. Sigh, what a chore. Wednesday, May 6, 2009
QA Ugh, it hurts when the topics you study about so intensely and so in-depth just didn't really come out in the exams, but rather some other little topics which I kinda' neglected and never really gave any sentiments to. Ugh, Salt Preparation and QA, I hate you. Macromolecular Structures, you too. Eh, E-Math tomorrow. Do or die... Die... Tuesday, May 5, 2009
SS It's strange really. One of the main crucial reasons which I opted to take History was cos' I couldn't grasp the concept of how to answer the questions. No matter how much insight you know about the topic, it all still boils down to the format of how you answer the question. But this year, finally taking the Social Studies paper, brings back those horrid memories of the requirement to write long-winded answers attempting to score an L5 mark. The answering concept is rather similar. Ugh. Oh well, that's another one checked on my "FAIL" list. Up next, chemistry. Only a miracle can save me now. Let's see, I'll try a 40% for the paper? Monday, May 4, 2009
trip Something's wrong with the ground, I keep falling for you. I'm tired of the running, it's time I focused more. Sunday, May 3, 2009
complete  WOO, COMPLETE. All the best to those who have mid-years tomorrow, all the best to myself as well. Good luck. V is for...  I'd be like Mr. Fantastic and have elastic hands, but no matter how far they'd extend out, I'd never be able to touch your heart. I could be like a radio, singing songs to you forever until my lips cracked due to lack of water, but you'd never listen. I'd set myself on fire and jump into a pool of kerosine, but that just wouldn't be able to gain your attention. To what limits would I try... How far would I push myself? I'd be raptured to hear from you just once, but so, that would still put in me squalor. I'd utter profanities and curse underneath my tongue, but nothing would be better. What's the point of trying so hard, to win this fair maiden's heart. Of such extreme boundaries and lengths I shall travel to impress ye, to what would be the prize? Perhaps your enchantment has proven too strong for my measely head to withstand, I can't bare to give up although I'm completely aware my utmost efforts would only result in an embarassing failure. My impaired speech, my sweaty palms, my daydreaming sessions... Maybe these signs would all be too obvious. Ah, I have better things to concentrate on... I think. I can't help but feel that I'm really not going to score for this upcoming Mid-Year examinations. We'll just have to wait and see then. These two weeks... After they have passed, all hell will be unleashed, the gate to this "educationary" confinement shall be unlocked and I'm just going to let loose. That's what I need, a long long break. Yeah... Saturday, May 2, 2009
zippo Oh how often is a lighter associated with a smoker. How often are body piercings associated with bad people. How often are tattoos associated with gangsters? Well I'll tell you how often... Very. Nyeah, even my own mother questions my purchase of a mere zippo lighter. Oh well breath-check me for all I care, I'd be delighted to see the test results anything BUT positive. No tar has been in contact with my lungs for a pretty long time. Still I somehow experience minor chest pains at times. It seems like the outbreak of the Swine Flu has caused everybody's immune system to break down in one way or another. The weather also has it's own little part to play in all the influenza. Hmm, exams are coming and these sicknesses aren't helping one bit. I don't exactly feel a 100% prepared for all the tests but oh well, I'll give it my best shot. It's at these points of time where I wished I hadn't promised myself I'd attain an L1R5 of 15 and below. But hey, targets are set for purposes. We'll see how it goes, till then... Friday, May 1, 2009
titration? Garh, chemistry is really not my thing at all, I'd be glad enough to scrape a mere "B". I probably should have spent Labour Day with my head buried beneath my books but I guess home is just not a condusive environment for me to be studying in. The more the exams approach, the more I can taste it ending. How sweet the salvation shall be of freedom without the examination stress. |
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I'm coming back with a goal
and nothing is gonna' stop me. |
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